Okay, not really- not to work itself. Over the past, I dunno, maybe six to eight weeks I have been noticing an interesting phenomenon. When I sit in my shop at my desk at work in the morning, I start coughing and feel a little drippyness at the back of my throat. I will hack and hack, but then if i leave the building to work on a job, it goes away. If I come back, the cough comes back. All up until the afternoon or so, when it it seems to subside. I never get these coughing fits when I am not at work, so I have to think there is something to this. I moved the cabinets away from the walls to look for mold, but I didn't find anything; it was clean. The other resident in my shop has noticed a similar effect, he gets a scratchy throat in that room as well.

I am not sure what it could be, but all indcations point to the a/c ducting. We had a new a/c unit put in just a few months ago and maybe some moisture got into the ducting? I don't know what else it could possibly be. As for why it gets better during the course of the day, I have a couple of theories for that. One is that I take my allergy medicine first thing in the morning and it takes a few hours to kick in, another is that the room is shut up all night, so there is little circulation making it bad in the morning, but then during the day the door is open and shut repeatedly causing more exchange of air. We are finally having someone come out to monitor the air quality to figure out what the heck is going on, if anything. Perhaps I am just allergic to work?

I can't believe the weekend is almost over; it absolutely flew by. Saturday morning I took Annabel to her first training class and she did very well, though she was very nervous. She is going to be great once she calms down a bit.

Yesterday I finally decided I was tired of our bed looking like one that belonged in a crack house- no offense to those who live in crack houses. Our quilt was substandard and was torn in few spots and that enticed Ramona to chew at those spots, making things even worse. I was sick of looking at the torn up quilt, and every time we had to wash it it got worse. I bought us a new ensemble of a lightweight quilt, pillow shams, and throw pillows. I made the mistake of not washing everything first. I should have known because I am a freak of nature that it would cause problems. I thought that because the sheets were already washed that it would be okay since the sheets are what touches my skin. I was wrong. I woke up covered in quarter to silver dollar sized red hives, dangit. I hate my skin. If there was a such thing as a whole body skin transplant I would get it done.

In any case. all of the new bedding is washied now and I hope for a much better result this time. For fuck's sake, why can't I just be normal for once?

Life has been jam packed for me lately. Yesterday I had to get up at 3:15 am in order to set out early on the drive to Gainesville for my liver appointment at Shands. It is about a two and a half hour drive and my appointment was early so I left the house at around 4:30 and got on the road.

I hate highway driving, especially in my Jeep; it is like driving a box into the wind. The particular route took was completely mobbed with semis too, so I was white knuckling it almost the whole way there. Semis scare me to death sometimes. Truck drivers drive like maniacs sometimes. But the appointment was pretty good. The doctors at Shands seemed to know a whole lot more about what they were looking at than my local docs had. For instance, they were able to tell me with almost complete certainty that my elevated liver enzymes were not caused by an exposure to something in my environment. This was because when the AST and ALT were high, my alkaline phophate and bilirubin levels stayed the same.

The doctors at Shands did not believe that my local doctors had effectively ruled out everything either. They said that it was basically down to things such as Alpha 1 Antitrypsin deficiency or Auto-immune hepatitis or even Celiac disease- Can you believe that Stacy?-, though I don't have most of the symptoms for Celiac, but it is still possible. So they are going to go over the slides from my liver biopsy with their pathologists and they sent me for more tests. They did tell me that there are a certain number of patients that they never do figure out what is causing their liver problems. Fortunately for me, my liver enzymes have finally gone down after seven months of being high to the normal range. They have dipped down briefly before, only to bounce back up the next month, so I still have to make sure that thhere isn't some cause that I need to know about.

When I got back from my trip, Andy and i had to head down to Melbourne, which is about 45 minutes to the south to meet with a lawyer about our property. We had been referred to him by some people at the county that were trying to help us so that we can build on our property. The next action to take is to have the attorney ask the board of commissioners for an adminstrative waiver for our building permit under the "regulatory takings" section of the local building code. We have the attorney now on retainer and hopefully the fees will not hurt too badly. I have noticed that when we are continually paying out large sums of money that it gets easier to write a big check without flinching. You just say to yourself, what's another couple of thousand anyway? It is just money, right? Well at least as it pertains to our house project- it still pisses me off to no end to be paying over three dollars a gallon for gas, but I won't bother to rant about that injustice because I am sure we are all feeling the pain of that.

The lawyer liked the giant "book" I had, which is really a leather binder stuffed to the absolute limit with every pertinent document, photo, aerial diagram, letter and so on that has anything to do with our property and what has been tried so far and said that he needs all of that information, preferrably in that book type of format. Most of the stuff in the big binder I have is the only copy we have of those documents, so I went to the local office supply store last night and made copies of everything, even color copies of some of the stuff and then bought a big binder and tons of page protectors and index tabs so I could make a nice organized, cohesive collection of our paperwork just like my big book to send to the law office. I spent a few hours and about fifty bucks compiling it, and then I mailed it priority down to the their office today. It was a lot of work, but the easier I make it for the lawyer to research our case, the less he will have to bill us for at his rate of $225 an hour, so I feel that it was well worth it to make that stuff as easy to flip through as possible. So that is why I had no time for blogging last night.

Anyway, things are going well, I am terribly busy at work, and all of the animals are doing fine. Hopefully I will have to time to slow down and breathe a little here pretty soon. You know how it is- everything always happens all at the same time and then you have to try to keep up. I hope you are all doing well too.

You may or may not know this about me based on whether or not you know me in real life, but I am a neat freak. Like nearly a full blown OCD type neat freak. For the past four or five years I have been suffering from extreme fatigue, even while medicated, and a lot of my natural OCD tendencies were squelched just because I didn't have the energy to be quite as anal as I would have liked.

Lately, I have finally arrived at an adequate dose of medication to offset the fatigue. I still get very tired, but it is more because I have been so busy DOING THINGS that I get worn out rather than just feeling overwhelmingly exhausted all of the time for no reason.

So anyway, with being back to a point where I have energy again, I have launched into many projects at home and work, cleaning things up and making things better as much as possible. If you didn't know me five years ago, you would think that I have changed quite a bit, because I am so driven to take care of details in my general work area. Actually, I haven't changed at all, I just have the wherewithall to get up out of my chair and take care of business now in the same way I would have before if I hadn't been crippled by fatigue. People are finally seeing the real me. It feels good, too!

I don't know what the deal is lately but my damn nose keeps cracking, right at the tip of one nostril. It hurts like hell. It has cracked like this before to a lesser extent during cold and dry weather, but it has been hot and humid here lately, so I am confused. When I wash my face and soap gets in the little cut, it stings like fire and makes my eyes water. No amount of moisturizer or cream seems to help it heal. Ouch! Does your nose ever split like this?

Today I had the appointment to get the results of my liver biopsy. This was supposed to be the big revealing moment to find out what has been going haywire with my liver for the past six months. And I got a big fat "I don't know." Another couple of things were effectively ruled out and I am left with essentially nothing. Something is wrong with my liver but no one knows exactly what. And there isn't anything left to test for. Maybe some day someone will come up with an idea of what it could be.

The microscopic report was as follows:

The basic architecture of the liver is preserved. The hepatocytes are arranged in a normal plate thickness, do not display atypia and hepatocyte inclusions, including fatty change, is not identified. There is a slight increase in the amount of iron as confirmed Perl's stain. There is a mild lymphocytic infiltrate within the portal regions without extension of the lymphocytes into the parenchyma. There is not an increased amount of portal fibrosis as confirmed with the Trichrome stain. Central veins are identified, and there is no evidence of cirrhosis.

The only possible thing left is an exposure to something. I asked what viruses could cause this kind of thing, and the doctor said, of course Hepatitis A, B and C (which I have tested negative for) and the mononucleosis viruses, but I had Epstein Barr in 6th grade and Cytomegalo Virus (CMV) in 11th grade, so it is not possible for it to be either of those. Those were the only viruses he could think of. Even if it had been a virus, chances are that it would have cleared up in six months time. And then there are industrial solvent and chemical exposures, but I don't see where I could have been exposed to something like that.

There is nothing left to test me for, so the doctor said that I could just have the enzymes checked every six months or so, and just let it go at that. If that is all I am going to do I don't really see the point because whether they go down or up, there is nothing that can be done about it. Just knowing for the sake of knowing seems stupid and pointless to me. The only other option he gave me was to go to Shands and get another opinion. I am thinking about it but it is a rather long drive (two and a half hours each way) and I have already wasted so much time and energy only to find no answers. If only they would set up a phone appointment for me, but I don't know if they do that. There is nothing for them to examine physically, they would just need to look at the test results and perhaps order some more, so i don't see why I need to drive there, but I doubt they can do anything over the phone.

So, the news is that there is no news. I had tried not to get my hopes up because I kind of figured that the outcome would be like this, but still I had hopes that they could find something. Oh well. I told Andy that for once I just want to be able to go to a doctor and have them say "you have blankety blank illness, and here is the treatment." But it is never like that for me. It is always, "well something is wrong with you but we don't know why." Damn practice of medicine.

This morning I went in for my liver biopsy. It seemed like a big production for something that only took about ten to fifteen minutes, but I had to go through the whole surgical prep area where they made me put on a lovely gown and lay down while they put an IV in my arm. I almost felt kind of silly. Then they wheeled me two floors down to the radiology area for the procedure. They had to use the ultrasound to guide where the needle was going, so that is why it was in radiology. I have had surgery before, but whenever i was wheeled around in the past I was on heavy drugs and not very coherent. This time I was completely awake and alert because they hadn't given me any drugs yet.

The doctor came in and the nurse jokingly introduced him as a high school student because he looked so young. He explained the procedure, which involved inserting a biopsy needle and then taking three samples from my liver. He numbed the skin on my side, then numbed my liver, which hurt a little, but not much. Then I got to watch on the ultrasound screen while he took the samples. It was basically just a quick flash on the screen and a click each time and it didn't hurt. They gave me a little bit of IV valium but I swear it didn't do much to drug me- I felt about the same as I would after maybe two beers. But it was quick and relatively painless. The most painful part was pulling the tape off where they had draped me.

After the biopsy was done, they wheeled in a machine and did a quick chest X-ray to make sure there was no air that had enterd my chest cavity- and there wasn't. Then I got wheeled back to the discharge area where Andy and I got to sit and wait for two hours before they could let me go. They have to keep you lying down for two hours so your liver doesn't bleed. It was pretty boring, but no big deal. My blood pressure was already pretty low when they checked it in the morning, and after laying around for about an hour and a half it finally went so low that it set off an alarm at 88 over 43, but I felt fine so they really weren't concerned. They just upped the IV drip going into my arm and it went up a bit. And finally the two hours was up and we got to come home. It seemed like such a big fuss for such a little procedure, but hey, whatever.

I'm glad that it is over now, but I have been just laying around all afternoon per the discharge orders I received. No heavy lifting or stairs or any of that junk for a couple of days. But I'll be back to work tomorrow doing whatever I can at my desk at least. Now I just have to wait for results.

Tomorrow afternoon I have a consultation for a liver biopsy. I guess they'll tell me everything I need to know to prepare for it and then schedule the actual biopsy. From what I understand it is a needle biopsy type thing and not that big of a deal, but I think they make you lay there afterward for something like six hours to make sure it doesn't start bleeding. Fun, huh? But it is about damn time to figure out all of my liver crap. I am tired of getting the runaround, and II am sick of worrying about it.

Remember this post and this one where my liver enzymes had gone nearly back to normal when I started taking zinc, but one doctor ruled out a possible diagnosis without even testing me? Since then there has been an interesting turn of events and I have been through a lot more tests which have been rather inconclusive, so now it is time to find out what is going on, assuming the biopsy turns something up or at least rules things out and hopefully points doctors in the right direction. I have a lot more about this whole story to tell, but I am planning to wait until I find out the results of the biopsy to post most of it, so it all makes sense.

Today I got to see things in a whole new light because I went wih Andy and got my first pair of glasses since I was a small child. I had one pair of glasses as a kid because I used to squint, but being the rotten little kid that I was I never wore them and just kept on squinting. Anyway, my vision is not bad at all. It comes out as 20/25 and by squinting I can correct that to 20/20, but sometimes I get headaches from squinting too much, and I am getting a nasty wrinkle on my forehead from it as well.

So, the prescription I got was very weak, and I don't notice any difference up close at all, but at a distance with the glasses things are a bit sharper and clearer. If I squint with the glasses on, nothing changes, so hopefully that habit will go away. I don't need to wear glasses all the time, just whenever I want to alleviate eye strain.

Here are some with and without glasses photos- I don't think they are too bad at all. And they have come a long way from the ones I didn't wear as a child; they are way more comfortable now. Andy likes the way they look on me. He thinks I look like a whole new person. I was surprised that they looked as decent as they did since I have a very crooked face. What do you think?

So, I lied. Well not really, I just changed my mind. After I found out that Andy screwed up our benefits enrollment so that I have no vision insurance I said I wouldn't go to the eye doctor, but I actually went today for the first time since I was a small child. I was getting sick of getting headaches from squinting and I think you are supposed to have your eyes checked every so often.

Anyway, when I got home from my appointment I did what every normal girl who couldn't see well would do and sat down at my iMac and took lots of funky pictures while my pupils were HUGE. Everything was very blurry then, but I was still able to see enough to use some of the fun effects in Apple's Photo Booth. I swear I could play with Photo Booth for hours. I guess I am easily amused.

Aaagh! I've spent the time I should have been posting here and then some sucked in to reading a post and all the comments of one of Stacey's posts at Jurgen Nation. Girls, you have got to go over there and check out all of the great beauty recommendations! Stacey asked readers for testimonials on their favorite beauty products, jeans, drinks, etc. And guys you can stop over there and tell us what things you notice and like on women, or just add some hilarity to the conversation as some of the guys have already done. Stripper smell, WTF? Hysterical! So, go check it out and leave your best recommendations there as well.

The other day I set up an eye exam for myself at the same place that Andy goes to. I have not had my eyes checked since I was a little kid- except at work, and in light of the eye strain headaches I have been getting, I decided it was time. I set up the appointment and gave them my insurance information. By the time i got home from work there was a mmessage on the phone from them. I called the receptionist and was told that I had no insurance. I told her that she was wrong, of course I did. I have had vision insurance, same as Andy for the past seven years. And then I went upstairs to the file cabinet and looked at our benefits information.

Our company switched the company that administers our benefits this past fall, and we had to go through and re-enroll in all of our benefits. The way it has always been done is that you either got coverage in medical, dental and vision for just yourself, or yourself and your spouse, or yourself and your spouse and kids. If you got the medical, you automatically got the dental and vision; they were a package deal. Apparently at this last enrollment, you had to select who you were covering for each of the three: medical, dental, and vision. Even though we both work at the same company, Andy has always carried me on his insurance, because it is cheaper for him to insure himself plus me that it would be if we each just insured ourselves. The weekly premium is slightly less that way.

I think you have probably figured out where this story is going. Andy screwed up the enrollment and I now have no vision or dental coverage for the entire year. I had the eye appointment scheduled, and now that is out the window, and I am having to cancel my dental appointment scheduled for next month. I was planning to have the mercury amalgam fillings taken out of my teeth and replaced with the ceramic ones but forget that. Andy feels terrible, and I really don't blame him for the mistake; I blame myself. I should have looked at the enrollment confirmation statement, but I assumed he had it taken care of. And we aren't even saving any money by me not being covered; the difference is only pennies. The worst part of it is that if we had discovered the problem only two weeks ago we could have had it fixed, but now it is too late. Andy wants me to go to the appointments anyway and pay for them out of pocket, but I'll be damned if I'll pay good money for something that is due to us anyway for no extra cost. I'll wait the friggin year, headaches and dirty teeth be damned.

Last week, the nurse at the Gastroenterologist that my regular doctor had referred me to several months ago called. She said the same thing they had told me at my regular doctor's place, that my liver enzymes were way down. I told her about the zinc and asked if I had ever been tested for Wilson's disease. She looked and found that I had not. She said she would leave a message for the doctor about it, and I told her that my regular doctor had already ordered one of the tests for it.

Today she called back and after a bit of phone tag, she said that the doctor (the Gastroenterologist) doesn't think I have Wilson's disease and that he had written a letter to my regular doc to tell her that. I asked why he thought I didn't have Wilson's and what the letter said, and she read most of it to me. In summary, the main reason he thinks it is not a possibility is because of my age. The condition is present at birth and usually manifests itself during childhood or adolescence. But, as I have found in my research, it is not always found then- sometimes it remains asymptomatic and completely undetected until the afflicted person is in their fifties or later. This is not very common, but I have never been a normal person medically, so who knows? And everything I have read says that any patient up to age 40 that has unexplained liver problems should be screened for Wilson's. Another thing that I read said that the disease is highly variable and manifests itself differently each time, even within members of the same family. The letter went on to tell her what things would show up on tests if I had Wilson's, all tests that he has not performed on me yet. I think it is pretty silly to outright exclude the possibility of a condition when you haven't subjected the patient to a single test for it. He tries to justify not testing for the disease by saying that if a doctor suspects it and tests for it, the insurance company may "mark" me as having it regardless of the outcome of the tests and then I might not be able to get insurance ever again. That sounds like a pretty stupid reason not to test for something that could kill a person eventually when the conventional wisdom says that he should test for it. I say, do the tests and let me worry about the insurance.

Anyway, I hope his letter he wrote doesn't close the mind of the doctor that actually is working with me on this. She is pretty sharp, and I am willing to bet that she will do her research. If not I will go and get another opinion. The GI doc also said in his letter to her that it wouldn't hurt anything for me to be taking the zinc, so that I could continue. Well duh, of course if it is making my liver better then I will keep taking it. The question is why is it making me better? And strangely, after I increased the amount of zinc I was taking, it also seems to be making the dilated blood vessels on my arms go back to normal. The dermatologist was convinced that the problem was liver related- maybe she was right.

So you know that thing with my liver? The one where I turned up with high liver enzymes all of a sudden and no one could figure it out? Well don't get too excited, they still haven't figured it out, but maybe they are getting closer. They have been drawing blood from me every month for about five months now to monitor the enzymes, and the numbers have been trending gradually down until they sort of leveled off at about four times what they were supposed to be a couple of months ago. The GI Doctor wants to wait until my enzymes have been high for six months before he will do something like a liver biopsy to see what is going on.

So anyway, last week I had my blood taken for the regular monthly check they have been doing, and the doctor's office called on Friday and said "whatever you are doing, keep doing it because your enzymes are way down." They were down to the normal range or just a hair above it. I thought about it, and the only thing I have been doing differently is that I started taking Zinc picolinate supplements. There's a reason I just started taking them too. I got several different supplements back when I first was told about the high enzymes five months ago and started taking them because they were recommended for a healthy liver. I never started taking the zinc because it says on the label not to take it within two hours of taking any medication or it could interfere with the effectiveness of it. I didn't want it to stop my allergy meds that I take in the morning from working properly. Anyway, a month or so ago I started bringing the zinc tablets with me to work and taking them with lunch, along with the other liver supplements like milk thistle that I had been taking for several months.

So now, to the real point of this story. Since the zinc seemed to be making my liver "get better," I started looking online and found that a certain disease that causes liver damage that is actually TREATED with zinc. It is fairly rare-only one in thirty thousand- and basically the problem is that the affected person can't get rid of copper in their body and eventually it builds up to toxic levels, affecting the liver first. Taking zinc blocks the absorbtion of copper, so it helps, though usually other treatment is needed. I also read that even people who do not have this disease can experience an "overload" of copper from getting too much in their food, and not enough zinc to block it. I don't know if a person could get enough copper from their regular diet that it could cause liver damage, but who knows? And of course go figure that I eat a ton of the foods loaded with copper and not very many with a lot of zinc.

So, after discovering this, I called and left a message with my doctor about what i had been doing differently. They callled today and are sending me for another test to check for the disease, called Wilson's Disease. From what i have read, there is not really one definitive test for it though, so it may take a liver biopsy to really know. It is a thought, anyway, and that is more than the doctors have been able to come up with, so we'll see.

I spent all day today in a class learning Dreamweaver for work, which was great, but it means I spent nearly eight hours staring at a computer screen and now I have a massive headache, so this is going to be short.

Sometimes I think that my far vision might be getting bad. I have always squinted to see things far away, yet my vision tests as 20/20. My dad always used to tell me to stop squinting as a kid. I never did. Today we each had our own computer in front of us, but we were also looking at the instructor's screen projected on the wall and I was at the back. At one point in the discussion the instuctor said, "Jen, you have a confused look, do you have a question?" I said, "No, I am just squinting because I can't see" and everyone laughed. But sadly it is the truth. I have no problems with close up stuff, and really I can see far away fine, but I think I am straining to do so and maybe that is why I have had a headache most of the day. I suppose I could go to see the eye doctor, but the problem is that wearing any kind of glasses gives me a headache, just from how they rest on my head. I can't even wear sunglasses for very long before it happens. So I guess I will just deal with it.

I have Dreamweaver class again all day tomorrow, so I think I'll go rest my eyes for a while now. Perhaps I should sit closer to the front of the room tomorrow, huh?

Remember when I wrote about how it is hard for me to take a compliment about losing weight? Laurie from Crazy Aunt Purl, a blog I love, wrote something similar last week in much greater depth. She was able to verbalize some of the things I was feeling, so I am going to quote her here. This isn't her entire post, just a couple of pertinent excerpts I put together.

She said: 'So anyway. There it is. Ya'll are right, I suppose. I am physically not the same size I was. In the past few months of trying to take good care of myself, I have lost a few pounds. But I carry my largest size with me still, in my head and in my self-image. I cringe when people say, "Hi Laurie! Oh wow have you lost weight?" because what I hear is, "Well looky there! Your butt isn't as gigantically fat as it used to be!"

Because I really do have more interesting things to talk about than the size of my thighs. We all so much more than a number, or a jeans size, or a list of what we ate one day. Don't you agree?'

In her post she has basically echoed what I said about people's comments, and added more things that I didn't quite know how to say but I agree with completely. And I also wish that people's comments on my weight would stop. Especially because some people really screw them up badly. I had one guy at work tell me the other day that my face looked tall. WTF? I mean I guess I know what he was trying to say, that my face looked thinner, but how would he feel if I told him his head looked balder? It just seems kind of rude to constantly make comments like that. And then some people are so descriptive in their compliments of how you are versus how you were that they make it pretty clear that they thought you were a fat slob before. And I really love it when they bring up the fact that a room full of people were discussing my weight loss. Just what I want to hear. That kind of shit makes me want to disappear. Why does the amount of fat I am carrying around have to be everyone's business? I don't want to talk about it with people at work, and I don't want to discuss what I am eating either. It is not an interesting topic to me.

In another one of Laurie's previous posts, which you really ought to read if you haven't already, she wrote about the payoffs of being fat, and I guess I had never really thought about it, but she is right. And the payoffs are different for different people. One of the subconscious "payoffs" for me was that I felt I was valued for my intelligence, work ethic, and strong personality, rather than my looks. I have been appreciated at different times in my life for my character or my looks and I prefer being judged by my character every time. I feel that when I look good, especially working around so many men, I am judged more on my looks than anything and it makes me uncomfortable.

I think a lot of people probably feel this way, too. Unfortunately no one has got the word out to the masses that these casual comments or backhanded compliments are not very welcome. I think it is interesting that it is okay in our society to comment on certain things, but not others. What do you think?

Blech. I am completely fed up with the medical field. I went to the dermatologist for results today and she couldn't tell me a damn thing. She said that all they found was that the blood vessels in the skin on my arms are dilated. She thinks it is related to my liver problems and said I should figure that out first. Well, no shit lady. I have done everything humanly possible to find out what was going on with my liver but no doctor can figure it out. Screw it, I give up.

Of course the blood vessel thing is not fixable. Figures. My only option is to go to a plastic surgeon and get laser therapy for tons of money. Fuck it, I'm calling them tomorrow. It is only money right?

And then this afternoon I had to go see the rheumatologist, the one I see because of my Fibromyalgia. I told him about all the other stuff, and he said perhaps it was time to go to a place like Shands or the Mayo clinic to see a liver specialist, at least if the problem persists. I asked, "But what if they don't find anything there?" He said, "Then that is good, you don't have a problem." I asked, "What if they find a problem, but have no idea what it is?" This is my regular routine with doctors, they can never figure it out. He said "Well, at least you won't have liver cancer." Shit.

Looking for medical information on the web? Find answers to your medical questions and definitions of medical terms in our medical dictionary at MedicalOnline.com.

I am leaving in a few minutes to go back to the dermatologist to have them take the one little tiny stitch out of my arm where they biopsied it and tell me the results. I kind of have a feeling it is going to be one of those things where they say you have whatever condition and you are just going to have to live with it, because there is nothing we can do. Either that or it will be something that can only be treted with oral corticosteriods, which I can't take because the side effects for me are worse than the original problem. That is the story of my life with doctors. It is never some easy fix for what is wrong with me. I'm praying that I am wrong about that, though.

I had an appointment with the dermatologist this afternoon, to look at the skin on the backs of my arms, which is strangely colored sometimes. Sometimes it gets reddish or purplish. What I was completely unprepared for was her deciding to chop a chunk out of my arm right then and there. It is probably better that I didn't expect it, because I would have worried about it all day anyway. And while it wasn't fun, it wasn't that horrible either.

She doesn't know what is wrong with my skin but says it is a "vascular problem." Of course it didn't make me feel too great that she brought two other doctors in to the room after she had looked at my skin because it was so interesting she just had to show them. That always makes the patient feel better, when their ailment is showed around like a novelty.

Anyway, if you remember my liver enzyme problems from a few months ago, they never figured out what was going on with that, but only noted that the enzymes were gradually coming down. I have been going in once a month ever since to monitor my enzymes, and the GI said if they are still high after six months he will want to do a liver biopsy, but I am in the holding pattern right now. April will be six months, so who knows what'll happen then. But the dermatologists think maybe my skin thing has something to do with the liver thing. I told her that everyone else was stumped, maybe she could figure it out. I think she is going to send me for MORE bloodwork, though.

This morning I got up from my vanity where I was getting ready and stubbed the hell out of my toe. I think it might be broken- it looks pretty nasty. I have been suffering with a painful toe all day. Other than that i don't have too much for today; I am just biding my time until the Thanksgiving holiday. Hooray for a four day weekend!

Stop over at Andy's blog to see some interesting photos of him in a SCAPE suit, which is a sixty pound rubber suit that he sometimes has to wear at work, like last night when he was freezing his ass off in it until nearly four in the morning. They stayed so late last night that I got up to go to work before he was in bed. This is a glimpse of real space program operations, so please go by and pay Andy a visit.

I got back the results of my latest blood test, and it helped exactly none. The doctor still has no idea what the hell is damaging my liver, only now we know that it is not hemochromatosis. In a way this is bad news, because that would have been easy to treat, and now it just means that they are going to keep sticking me with needles and doing test after test after test until concievably there is no blood left in my body. Okay that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I find this whole thing to be exceedingly frustrating and ridiculous. Hopefully they will either figure it out or give up before then. I am over it already. Where is Dr. House when you need him anyway?

I think we are through the worst of the post wisdom tooth extraction. Andy is awake and surfing the internet on his laptop while in bed. The first gauze change was the worst because there was still so much bleeding. It got better after that and we followed the suggestion from the nurse about putting the gauze just inside the cheek and that helped him with gagging thing. I ran out for a few minutes to the pharmacy to pick up the four prescriptions that they had given him.

I had to get him to eat something so he could take pain medication. He was able to get some applesauce down, and a pain pill, which was good because the numbness is starting to wear off. Andy is not the best patient and as previously discussed, I am not the best nurse but we are surviving.

Holy shit. Andy had all four of his wisdom teeth out this morning. I couldn't believe how quick it was; he was only in there for about half an hour. I was called from the wiating room to the back where the nurse gave me instructions for him. She said that he did great but was bleeding a lot which is normal for fair haired people. We have to change his gauzes out every forty minutes or so and that is the part that is killing me. We have done one change so far and Andy is a gagger. He almost had me heaving. I called the nurse right after and she told me to have him keep the gauze more toward the cheek so he wouldn't be so gaggy. But good Lord it is gross. I am not cut out for the blood and guts scene at all.

The numbess is still in effect and should be for several hours. At some point I have to leave him for long enough to go get his prescriptions- I dropped them off on the way home. And then we have to try to feed him something so he can take the pain meds. Hopefully the bleeding will stop and make that process easier. I would do anything for Andy but this is really hard. Will keep you posted.

My doctor's office called me this evening with test results. It seems that I have high ferritin levels, or too much iron. And guess what? They have to do more tests to find out why and if it is significant or not. I wish they could just take a bucket full of blood in the first place and quit hassling me with getting stuck again. This is now the fifth time I have had to go back and have blood drawn in the past month. I hope someone figures this mess out soon. I'd like to tell them just to take a few extra vials while they're at it so they can just use those when they decide to run more tests. Ugh.

Last week I went to see a specialist, a GI, about my liver. He told me that the two causes that account for over 90 percent of high liver enzymes like I had are Hepatitis C and a fatty liver. He said that according to my test results and ultrasound, I had neither of those. As for what caused the elevated levels, it could be something such as autoimmune hepatitis like my mom had theorized, or it could be acute liver damage caused by exposure to some chemical. He asked if I could have been exposed to any strong chemicals around the time frame of September, and I couldn't remember any. Of course there is always the thought that I work around rocket fuels such as monomethyl hydrazine, but there are so many safety controls in place at work that it seems very unlikely. I asked if it could have been a chemical I was exposed to at home, and he said no, unless I had been using some heavy duty commercial degreasers or things like that.

So I had to have more blood taken and it is being tested this time for "markers" that might point to autoimmune hepatitis. If they are not there, they will probably just continue to monitor my liver enzymes every few weeks to see if they return to normal as they would in the case of acute liver damage. And I would just have to be left with a mystery as to what caused it. I should hear the latest test results late this week or early next week. I'll let you know.

Come to our medical search engine to find the best medical websites and health resources on the Internet. You can find medical information on diabetes and cholesterol at Healthline.com.

I had a follow up appointment at my doctor today to get the results of the additional tests she did. So here is the story of what is up with my stinkin' liver. The ultrasound did not show anything abnormal, and I tested negative for Hepatitis A, B, and C. I knew that would be the case. The doctor wants to check the enzymes again to see if they are still high or if maybe the origianl test results were wrong. If they are still high, then she would have to suspect autoimmune hepatitis. So, I should find out tomorrow or Friday the results of the new bloodwork and if the enzymes are high she will send me to a GI who will probably do a liver biopsy. Sounds fun, right? I have high hopes that the test with the high enzymes was a mistake and that everything is actually fine. We'll see.

Yes, it is my liver I am referring to. I had some basic routine bloodwork done recently and my liver enzymes were very high. So now I get to go through the fun of more testing and even a super cool ultrasound of my liver. I am so excited. Is the sarcasm coming through?

I think that there is probably nothing wrong with my liver, but whatever. There are a whole lot of things that can cause elevated liver enzymes. Unfortunately one of the levels, the ALT, was like seven and a half times the normal, so I have no choice but to get everything checked out. So tomorrow morning at 7:30 I will be having some a real fun time. I'll let you know how it goes. No worries.

I recently picked up a book at the health food store called Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia & Lyme Disease. Sounds kind of dull, huh? It is actually fascinating and I am learning a lot of things that kind of horrify me. See, I never knew that "silver" fillings in teeth are actually mercury amalgam fillings. It just so happens that the mercury in those fillings is many many times the amount you could ever ingest through eating fish and the fillings are associated with a whole host of diseases and disorders including Alzheimers, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MS, Parkinson's. This is some scary stuff. A quick search on google turns up all kinds of information with little evidence against it. In the words of one dentist "I don't feel comfortable using a substance designated by the Environmental Protection Agency to be a waste-disposal hazard. I can't throw it in the trash, bury it in the ground, or put it in a landfill, but they say it's okay to put it in people's mouths. That doesn't make sense." - Richard D. Fischer D.D.S.

Here are a few facts about mercury amalgam fillings:

Canadian Class Action Lawsuit
Canadians are in the process of beginning a major class action lawsuit based on the fact that the government knew of but did not warn the public about mercury dangers from amalgam fillings.

In addition to all this, the use of mercury almagam fillings is banned or severely restricted in many European countires, and Sweden is even paying for its citizens to have them removed. Why are we the last to get in on this stuff? I am calling around tomorrow to see about getting the three amalgam fillings I have replaced. Sheesh!

Tomorrow morning, I have a doctors appointment at 8:30. No make that 8:15. Actually, the appointment is at 8:30 but they want me there at 8:15. It is not to fill out paperwork or anything; it is not a new doctor, they just want me there early "because." So then, doesn't that mean that my appointment is really at 8:15, if that is when they want me there? I think that they want me there early in case for some reason they are not busy they can see me then. But then if they are busy, they can just see me at 8:30 (or later) and they are still right on schedule. This way it gives them the option, while giving me the impression that they are more prompt than they are. Except I am on to them. We'll see.

I got this letter today, from my health insurance company, that stated the following:

"Flu season runs from December through April. Since you have a health condition, you are at greater risk for complications if you get the flu. A flu shot minimizes thoserisks. The best time to get your shot is between early October and mid-November. You should have a flu shot every year."

Now for those of you who don't know, the "health condition" I have that they are referring to is fibromyalgia. But it is managed just fine thankyouverymuch. I have never in my life gotten a flu shot, and have also never gotten the flu. I have had any number of other weird diseases, but never the flu. I know people that have had very bad reactions to flu shots such as my father-in-law who got one that caused him to not be able to lift his arm for MONTHS. Apparently they hit a nerve with the vaccination or something. They don't tell you about THAT stuff. That the flu shot itself can have complications.

Because of the risks, I have no inclination to run out and get a flu shot even if the bean counters at my insurance company think I should. What do you think of flu shots? Do you think they are a good idea or think they are not worth messing with?

Is it just me or is anyone else experiencing a change towards healthier, all natural living? It is funny because it seems like it is just in the past few years that I have started caring about things related to health. Things like flossing, sunscreen, and whole grains. I might have done some healthy things in the past, but they were only to gain superficial results. Things like exercising to acheive weight loss, but not because I actually cared about the healthful benefits. I used to think that I would live forever in perfect condition, but now I realize that good health is something to strive for.

I have found it within myself to have cut out caffiene, bad carbs like white sugar, flour, rice, etc., anything containing aspartame- Nutra Sweet- and so on. I am moving more and more towards natural foods and skin products as time goes by. If I keep going at the rate I have been I figure that I will be on a weirdo macrobiotic diet soon. The more I read and learn about the dangers of different chemicals in foods and cosmetics, the more it drives me towards things that are all natural. Am I alone in this, or are you going through the same thing yourself?

You've probably never heard of it. Dermatographism is what it is called, and it is a strange skin thing where you can sort of draw on your skin and the red marks stay for a few minutes. Here is the real, clinical definition. Dermatographism is a condition where lightly scratching the skin raises wheals or welts. Histamine is released at the site, causing the small blood vessels (capillaries) to dilate, producing redness and localized swelling. There are some good photos in Google images that show what it looks like normally. If that isn't weird enough, I don't even have the normal dermatographism, I have the reverse. When I draw lightly on my skin with my fingernail, in a few minutes the skin turns pale white in those areas. It is kind of freaky but also slightly entertaining. It goes away after a few minutes, so sometimes I amuse my co-workers by "writing" on my arm. Neat trick, huh? Just more proof that I am a bonafide freak of nature.

I went to the allergist on Friday for my hives and itching, and though there wasn't much that could be done about the hives other than adding some more histamine blocking drugs to my daily routine for a few weeks, I did get a prescription for the nasty eczema on my ankles. I have problems using any kind of steriod cream or ointment because I will invariably get some on my hands and then transfer it somehow to my face where it causes another rash. Instead of an ointment or a cream, I use something called Cordran tape, which is essentially a clear vinyl like tape that has the medicine (corticosteroid) impregnated into the sticky side of it. I put in on the nasty areas and change it every twelve hours. It actually works pretty well. My allergist figured out how many of the large rolls of this tape I would need changing it every twelve hours based on how many inches it would take to cover the eczema ravaged areas and wrote a prescription for four rolls, and three refills of the four rolls each time. I went to get the scrip filled today, and of course our insurance company automatically rejected it and we will have to try for an override tomorrow when they are in the office. I got one of the four rolls and the rest are on order anyway. Can you believe that tape costs $80 a roll? That means my entire prescription including the refills would cost over twelve hundred bucks! For tape! Thank God we have insurance, though they will probably try to put up a fight. I love the way they have the bean counters at the insurance company determining what drugs I should or shouldn't get. I thought that was the doctor's job.

Speaking of expensive drugs, my allergist was telling me of a new drug that is for asthmatics that is injected every two to three weeks. There are some indications that it may help people with "difficult" hives like myself, but it is currently not approved for that use. He said the drug costs $20,000 a year, and it takes as much as six months before it even starts working. So you could potentially pay out $10,000 and never even see any improvement. Maybe one day it will be proven effective on hives and the insurance company will pay for it. I can only hope.

I was finally forced to make an appointment with my allergist due to all of the hives I have been experiencing lately. I'm not sure it is going to do any good, but at least I will find out tomorrow. At least my allergist is sympathetic to itching. He says severe itching is as bad as severe nausea, and that it is horrible, but that a lot of doctors don't take it seriously because it is not life threatening. I think he is right. Severe itching has to be one of the worst things ever, and there is hardly even any research being done on ways to alleviate itching because it isn't seen as being important. I went all the way to Shands Hospital in Gainesville once to meet with an allergy specialist there, and all he said was for me not to scratch. Like I have a choice. He may as well have told me not to breathe or blink. What a waste. I think it is one of those things that can't be understod by anyone but the patient. Sucks for me.

Ass whipped is a good description of how I feel this week. I have a series of meetings starting tomorrow where I have to speak in front of groups of high level managers at work, and I am a terrible public speaker. I have prepared as much as possible, but still I am a nervous wreck because I know I will sound like a moron. I will be presiding over these horrible meetings for four days, holding several of them a day in order to talk to all of the managers in my directorate. It is definitely not something I am looking forward to. Hopefully I will survive.

To top it all off, last week I had that one annual doctor's appointment that all women dread. Ladies, you know what I am talking about. But at least I got it over with for one more year, and I didn't have to worry about it again for many months. Until today when there was a message on the machine for me to call the doctor's office. I know why they want me to call. The only reason that they would call is if my "test" was abnormal. So by the time I heard the message, the office was closed, but I know what is coming. Fucking great.

I had a doctor's appointment today, with the rheumatologist I see for Fibromyalgia. He is very thorough, so I always end up waiting quite a while, but whatever. The nurse that came in before asked me a bunch of questions as always about any changes in medications, allergies, etc. I told her that I think I have become allergic to nuts, and said how weird it was, because I never was before, but now I get itchy rashes if I eat them. She said no, that it wasn't that weird, that the body's chemistry changes every seven years or so, and you can be allergic to something, then not be, then back again. I told her that I can't wait for this particular seven year span to be up, because it sucks. What about you? Do you have allergies that come and go? Is this totally crazy?

When I was a kid one of my favorite books was Mouse Tales by Arnold Lobel. The book is made up of seven stories, and the gist of one of them is as follows. It is about a mouse that sets off on a journey and wears out his boots, and then at the side of the road is a man selling roller skates, and then when the roller skates wear out there is a man selling sneakers, then when the sneakers wear out he is down to his bare feet. He walks and walks until his feet hurt so much that he can't continue. And there, at the side of the road is a man selling feet, so he buys a new pair and finishes his journey. Or something like that. I don't remember the order of the shoes and boots and all, but the feet were last, I know that. It is a great book, by the way for any of you that have kids.

I have always wished to find that man by the side of the road selling feet. I could really use a new pair of feet. My feet are horrible and achy and I have had two surgeries on one of them. I still have bunions on the foot that hasn't been operated on and I have a neuroma in the foot that has. My toenails always want to ingrow, and my worst bouts of eczema are on my ankles. I hate my damn itchy ankles. If only I could find the man selling feet, I would certainly buy a new pair.

Wow, I had no idea how many of you out there have experience with eczema! The dermatologist did say that is the most common inherited disease, but still, wow! And some of you had some really interesting solutions that I had not heard of. I particularly liked the one from Twila, Kukui Nut Oil. I went to the company's website and read some of the eczema testamonials. I decided to give it a shot- what do I have to lose? I ordered some and it should be here by Priority Mail. I'll let you know if it works. Lulu had another interesting trick; using geranium oil mixed in almond oil. She says it works really well on all types of "gross" skin. I may give that one a shot too. Thanks for the input everyone!

I have been plagued with itchiness all of my life. It has occurred in different forms: hives, eczema, and even just random itchiness. I am now in the midst of one of the nastiest bouts of eczema I have ever had right now; it is all over my ankles and a little up my legs and it is trying to spread to the inside of my elbows. If you are not familiar with eczema, it is something that is inherited (thanks Mom!) and is not curable, only controllable. It consists of itchy bumps and scaly patches of skin that sometimes cracks and oozes. Sounds pleasant, doesn't it? Many times the cause of it is never found, like in my case. It tends to be cyclical- I can be eczema free for years, and then all of the sudden, there it is.

Unfortunately the only effective treatment for really bad eczema is corticosteroid, usually in a cream or ointment, but I can't use steroids because I am super sensitive to them and they tend to give me a rash on my face, which is even worse than the eczema, if you ask me. So I am trying to avoid that by using some of the non steriodal creams and ointments (Elidel and Protopic) that are less effective, but might help beat back the nastiness. They have never really done much in the past, though.

Itching is one of those things that not a lot of people truly understand. If you have ever had poison ivy, I think that might approximate the kind of itching that plagues me regularly. Strangely enough, I am immune to poison ivy, so I can't tell you if it is same amount of itchiness or not. My allergist says that people tend to dismiss itchiness because it isn't life threatening, but severe itchiness can be as bad as violent nausea or migraine headaches- nearly debilitating. People who don't understand true itchiness might tell me "stop scratching" and they are not trying to be funny or anything, but it is almost like saying "stop breathing." When Andy tells me not to scratch, I say "I'm not" and continue on scratching. He just doesn't fully understand.