This may sound a little sick and twisted to many of you who are freezing your collective asses off in much of the US right now, but eating ice cream in the middle of winter is completely normal for us in the South.

I am fairly ecstatic at the newfound availability of the tastiest substance on earth, Key Lime Pie ice cream.

My favorite local grocery store had it as a store brand of ice cream starting, as far as I know, about two years ago. It was seasonal, though, and after a few months it disappeared, causing me great disappointment.

After at least a year and a half of absence, the best ice cream flavor in the world has suddenly returned, complete with its chunks of graham cracker crust. Oh, the wondrousness that is Key Lime Pie ice cream. I have informed Andy that we need to purchase a chest freezer in order to stock up to last me through the next Key Lime Pie ice cream hiatus. It has been a long year and a half without it.

These are the pictures of this weekend's efforts. I spent many hours in the kitchen, and Andy assisted me greatly in rolling out all of the little dough balls into flat ovals to be filled. It is very helpful to have an assistant. I think they came out much better than last year's.

I have gotten a couple of requests for the complete cucci recipe, so I am posting it here for anyone who wants to give it a shot. This is the recipe complete with the backstory intro and some notes from me at the end.

Growing up, we always thought that our Grandma was the only one in the world that made cuccis, that they were her invention, and in some ways we were right. A quick internet search of "fig filled Sicilian cookies" revealed that cuccis are actually cuccidati (pronounced goo-ji-data) and have been around for some time. I have spent hours browsing different recipes for them, and none are quite like Grandma's. Very similar, yes, but her exact mix of ingredients is unmatched in anything I have found and the form factor of her cuccis is different from all the others as well.

I finally decided it was time for someone to pick up the tradition from Grandma. After all, she has slaved over our cuccis for many a year and it is time for her to sit back and just be able to enjoy them. I had the good sense to write down the recipe back when I happened to be there one year while she made them. Still, it was a huge undertaking, but I was happy to give it a shot.

Making cuccis may require an initial investment; the figs must be ground up in a meat grinder- Grandma always used the type that clamps down to the countertop and has a hand crank. Modern food processors do not grind to the right consistency for this recipe. They have been making the same model of hand crank grinders for over a hundred years, so it was not difficult to find one. The one I bought was made by a company called Porkert. I used the larger of the two included cutting plates, with holes about one half inch in diameter. I also purchased a marble rolling pin after struggling with some crummy wooden ones at first, and a hand pastry blender just to make things easier.

The Recipe (as told by Grandma)

Five pounds of whole, dried figs
One pound of toasted almonds
One small jar of honey
One tablespoon vanilla
Rind of one large orange (grated)
Two tablespoons Cinnamon
Five pounds all-purpose flour
One tablespoon baking powder
Three fourths of a cup of sugar
Three sticks of butter or 3/4 container of shortening
Four eggs
Cold water
Extra egg white for glaze on top (optional)

Fig inner filling

Grind together five pounds of figs (after removing hard stems) and one pound of almonds (skin removed, browned lightly in oven). In a small bit of water boil one small jar of honey. Add one tablespoon of vanilla.
Grate the rind of one large orange and add rind and boiled honey mixture to figs. Sprinkle with approximately two tablespoons of cinnamon. Set aside in refrigerator overnight.

Dough

Mix together five pounds of flour, one tablespoon baking powder, and 3/4 cup sugar. Cut in 3 sticks of butter or 3/4 container of shortening. Mix and make hollow in the center to drop four eggs. Add just enough cold water to knead dough. Knead into round balls and place in covered dish. Refrigerate overnight.

Finish

Roll dough out on board/counter. Drop fig filling on dough and wrap into small package. Flip over and cut designs into cookie face using razor blade or x-acto knife. Paint with egg white if desired. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 375 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes.

My notes:

For the figs, I used Jenny brand dried calamata figs from Greece. They come in 14 oz. packages so I used six of them to total 84 oz. Five pounds would have been 80 oz., so it was at least close.

For the almonds, it is easiest to buy the skinless raw slivered almonds. Toast them starting in a cold oven set at 350. Move them around on the cookie sheet frequently or they will burn.

The small jar of honey should be about a 16 oz. jar or close. I used orange blossom honey, but I doubt it makes any difference. Where the recipe says to boil the honey in a "small bit of water," I used about half an inch of water in the bottom of the pot and that worked fine. I think it is just to thin the honey slightly so that it mixes better.

It is easier to mix the fig filling with the honey and stuff in two separate batches. It is just easier to stir that way, and then both batches can be combined into one pan for refrigeration.

The recipe calls for grated orange rind, but I actually just used the zest and that was perfect. A microplane grater work wonderfully for this and I used a huge Florida navel orange.

I never measured the cinnamon, I just sprinkled a generous amount on there and mixed it up. I don't think the amount is crucial to the recipe.

When it comes to mixing the dough, you will find that mixing that much at once is not so easy. It is much easier to divide all of the ingredients in half and mix in two separate batches. It is probably a good idea to weigh the flour if you are going to divide it like that into two batches. I just eyeballed it the first time, and there ended up being a lot more flour in one batch than the other. A hand pastry blender is extremely useful for cutting the butter into the flour, but a potato masher can be used as well.

When you knead the dough into balls to be refrigerated, a ball of about ping-pong ball size is perfect for larger more traditional cuccis, but you can go smaller to make more of them.

The official recipe calls for the cuccis to be baked for 15 to 20 minutes. In my experience, it takes exactly 22 minutes per sheet in my oven. You may have to experiment.

It is easiest to bake one sheet at a time. That way you can be preparing the next sheet while that one is in the oven and pop in the next sheet when the first is done.

Oh, and finally, here is the nutritional info for them- I know that is important to some people.

Nutritional Information

Five pounds of flour= 7500 calories, no fat
One bag slivered almonds= 1700 calories, 140 grams of fat
Six 14 0z. packages of dried figs = 6000 calories, no fat
One 16 oz. jar of honey = 1320 calories, no fat
Four eggs= 304 calories, no fat
3/4 cup of sugar= 577 calories, no fat
3 sticks of butter= 2400 calories, 264 grams of fat
Vanilla, orange rind, cinnamon, baking powder= negligible

Total 19,801 calories and 404 grams of fat, then divide by number of cuccis in the batch.

For instance, the batch I made today was 158. I made them a little smaller this time. Each one came out to 125 calories and 3 grams of fat.

This morning I started the final stages of cucci making. I had high hopes, but I wasn't really sure if they would turn out right or anything near how Grandma's are. I set to work around ten o'clock. The first step was to roll out the little dough balls I had made yesterday into flat ovals. I quickly realized that things would go much faster with some help, so Andy came over and rolled out the dough for me until he had to go to work.

After the dough was rolled out, I placed a large spoonful of the fig/almond/orange zest/honey filling I made yesterday in the center of the dough and wrapped it up like a little package. Then I flipped it over, shaped it a little into roughly a kidney bean shape and then made decorative slits in the top with a razor blade. Then I repeated this over and over until I had a whole cookie sheet full.

Before going into the oven, the cookies were brushed with egg whites to glaze the tops. It is an optional step, but I like them better with the glaze. Then they went into the oven for around twenty minutes.

And finally, you can see how they came out. I made one hundred and two of them, so it took me five hours of work today in addition to the five hours of preparation yesterday. Whew! I mostly cut the tops the way Grandma usually does with tiny slits in the sides and some arcs across the tops, but I got a little crazy and did some flowers and birds on a few for fun. Dough doesn't behave very well for carving.

The best part is, the cuccis actually taste just like Grandma's, even on my first try. I was hopeful, but a bit skeptical as Grandma is a fantastic cook and has been making these for decades. So, after an entire weekend of cookie making, I have come to a few conclusions. These are my "lessons learned":

-An insulated cookie sheet does not work for these cookies. I tried one on the first set into the oven and they didn't quite cook right. Switched over to the regular kind of cookie sheet and everything was fine.

-If you are going to mix the dough in two separate batches, because there is so much of it, measure the flour instead of trying to eyeball how much is half of a five pound bag. I did this, and my dough was not consistent between the two batches. It all tastes fine, but next time I will measure or weigh the flour.

-If you run out of flour, even if you are just using it for rolling out the dough, whole grain flour will NOT do in a pinch. Go to the store. We did two or three cookies this way and then stopped and bought more flour.

-Invest in a good rolling pin. We bought a cheapo wooden one, and it made things a lot more difficult than they had to be.

-Watch your almonds carefully when you toast them. Move them around a lot and don't try to do something else at the same time. I burned about $10 worth of almonds because I wasn't paying attention and had to buy more.

And finally, I learned that my Grandma is one hell of a woman, because I am freakin' exhausted. Mt back hurts from grinding up all those figs and kneading all that dough and standing for so long. It has been a lot of fun, but I am glad this experiment is over. I think that I'll be making cuccis every Christmas now. I need to pack a box up to send to Grandma; she'll be so proud!

In case you didn't read about it last week when I posted about cuccidati, the story is that my Grandma has always made these traditional Sicilian fig filled cookies at Christmas time since before I can remember. They are called cuccidati, pronounced "goo-ji-data" or cuccis, which sounds like "goochies" for short. Around fifteen years ago, I was at Grandma's house around Christmas when she made them. I had the thought that I should write down the recipe and that is what I did. Grandma is the only one in our family that makes the cookies, and she does so from memory. It is quite an ordeal to make them, and no other family members have ever tried, but this year I decided I was going to keep the tradition going and make the cuccis. I purchased a meat grinder to grind the figs, a rolling pin, and all the ingredients, and this weekend I decided to set to work on the two day process of cucci making.

On day one, the fig filling is prepared, as well as the dough for the outer shell of the cookie. Then both are set aside to chill in the refrigerator overnight. After seeing how much goes into just that part of it, I am glad that the work is split into two days. Sheesh.

First and foremost I got some slivered almonds, no skin, and gently roasted them in the oven while moving them around frequently. I burned the first set because I was trying to do too many things at once, so then I decided to do one thing at a time.

Next I cut the stems off the many dried figs for the fig filling. They are hard little stems and wouldn't be too nice in a cookie.

After that Andy and I fed the dried figs and roasted almonds through my handy little meat grinder and ground them to a nice consistency. I got the same type of simple meat grinder that Grandma uses- they have been making the same one for over a hundred years. I read that in Sicily, the women would bring the figs to their butcher for him to run them through the meat grinder. You can get a real workout from that darned thing, but it does a great job.

Next I boiled a small jar of honey with a little bit of water, and added some vanilla. While it was boiling I zested an entire large orange. That's "oinge" to you, Mel.

Then I added the orange zest and the boiled honey/vanilla mixture to the ground up figs and almonds, and stirred. The whole thing was sprinkled with cinnamon and then set aside to chill in the fridge overnight.

Then I started on the dough. Grandma's recipe makes a TON, and I can see why. It is not worth doing to make only a few cuccis. So I am having to make the dough in two batches because I don't have a large enough bowl to hold the FIVE POUNDS of flour it takes.

Once the dough is made, it is kneaded into small balls and set aside in the fridge to chill overnight. Then the fun will really start tomorrow.

So that is day one of the process; it should get really interesting on day two. I am off to make the second batch of dough now and I am praying that there will be enough room in the fridge. It isn't looking too good now. I can definitely see why these are traditionally Christmas cookies, they are way too labor intensive for everyday. Wish me luck!

Update: I just fished making the last of the dough balls. One hundred and two of them. Five hours of work and the cookies are only half finished. I have a lot of respect for Grandma!

I made my "Island chili" today in the crock pot and experimented with it even further. I think this is the best one yet. The ingredients were almost the same as the ones in my chili post, but I substituted halved cherry tomatoes for the yellow tomatoes because they were not available, used red instead of white onion, and added tomatillos and the zest and juice of two key limes grown right in our backyard. I can't wait to taste it after a couple of days in the fridge when it has gotten to its best.

I am going ahead with my plans to make the cuccis (sounds like goochies) or cuccidati I mentioned in my last post. I purchased a rolling pin today- believe it or not we didn't have one- and found an old fashioned crank-type meat grinder that clamps onto the counter just like Grandma's at a specialty cooking store. The meat grinder will grind up the dried figs and nuts to make the cucci filling. I can't wait to try this. I think that will be my project next weekend.

Ever since anyone in my family can remember, my Grandma has been making Sicilian fig filled cookies at Christmastime that are to die for. We always called them "goochies," which I just found out today is short for cuccidati, pronounced "goo-chi-data" thanks to the internet. The recipes for these traditional Sicilian cookies are many and vary widely, but about fifteen years ago I was at Grandma's house when she made them, and I was smart enough to document the process and write down the ingredients. This turned out to be a very good thing, because a few years ago, my mom called and asked if I still had the recipe written down. Grandma had always made the cookies by memory, and she couldn't quite remember some of the amounts of the ingredients she normally used. I was able to help refresh her memory with my written notes, and save the day.

So today, as Andy and I were grocery shopping, I noticed that the packages of dried figs were out on display and it reminded me of the cuccis. I started pondering trying to make them myself, as Grandma has problems with her shoulder now and I don't think she has made them in a few years. Besides, this is a family tradition that I definitely want to keep going. I searched the internet for different recipes to compare to Grandma's and hers is a little different from all of the others out there. The finished cookies have beautiful designs carved into the tops of them where the fig filling shows through and none of the other recipes I saw called for as much artistry in this area as Grandma's. She said that the women in Sicily used to try to outdo each other with the designs they cut in the cookie tops.

So, I am going to go for it. It is a process that takes place over a couple of days, and I need to buy a meat grinder first to grind up the figs and a rolling pin, but I have got to give it a try. I will try to take photos of each stage of the recipe so I can post them here and you can see how much goes into these cookies. The recipe on the Food Network website for cuccidati lists the skill requirement to make them as "expert." Sounds fun, huh?

The two vehicles that Andy and I own are not exactly very good "grocery getters." Mine is a Jeep and while you can cram groceries in there, it is far from an ideal setup, and Andy drives a full-size truck with an extended cab. It has one of those little suicide doors to the backseat area and when we go to get groceries, we go in that door to load them up. Now, if anyone parks in the spot next to us, that becomes increasingly difficult. We can't get the cart in close enough and it requires a lot of unnnatural reaching around the stupid little door, and it just a real pain in the ass. We always try to go grocery shopping early on Saturday or Sunday mornings when it is not very busy, and we always park a good ways out in the parking lot to decrease the possibility that somone will want to park next to us, but somehow it never fails. We go out to the truck, and someone will have parked in the one spot that makes loading the groceries more difficult for us.

I finally thought of a good idea, though. I say we go buy a non descript orange traffic cone, and when we get out of the truck, we will place it in the spot next to us. No one will know why it is there, but they won't park there either, especially because they would have to get out and move the cone to do so. And there are always tons of other parking spaces available, so it isn't really putting anyone out or anything. Andy says we should stencil "possible sinkhole" on the cone, but I think just the plain cone will be good enough for our purposes. You may think I am kidding, but I am dead serious; I am really about to go shop for a cone. What do you think?

I am bored with my food. And it pretty much sucks because I am not really doing anything about it. I am perpetually on some stage of the South Beach diet, and right now I am back to square one with phase one, which doesn't give me a whole heck of a lot of options in the first place, so it is tough. I was so very disappointed this weekend at the grocery store when I found that I couldn't even buy any fresh spinach due to an e coli scare. I love spinach in my salads and they are going to be boring and bland with out it. Ugh.

And then I thought that maybe I'd make chili again. When I went through the produce section of the smaller of the two grocery stores we normally frequent, I found that we should have gone to the larger one, because there were no Anaheim Chilis, no serrano peppers, no orange or yellow tomatoes, and so I scrapped that idea. I was not willing to settle for a substandard chili, no way.

During the week I am really bad with cooking because Andy isn't here for dinner. He is on second shift still, and I just can't be bothered to work up a decent meal for only just me, so I end up haing a bag of steamed vegetables almost every night for dinner. They have tose frozen veggies that steam right in the bag when cooked in the microwave, so that is my main staple. Still, it leaves me wanting something better.

I love to watch Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals on Food Network and I always find myself wishing she would come and cook for me. The food she makes always looks so delicious. I have a few of her cookbooks and have tried a couple of recipes, but still I just can't get into all that for just me. Lazy, I guess.

What do you eat for dinner? A nice sit down meal every night or just some crap thrown together like me? Are there any easy meals you swear by? And more importantly what are some favorites that are healthy and low/good carb?

Okay, so this isn't a cooking blog, but I make a mean chili and I am pretty proud of it, so today I would like to share. This is my very own super easy recipe for crock pot chili. It is something I concoct slightly differently every time based on the availability of ingredients and I swear that every time I make it, it turns out better than the last time.

This time I was lucky and there was a large variety of peppers at the store. I chopped a selection of Anaheim chilis, jalapenos, and serranos. For the base of the chili, I use a large container of tomato juice. here you see a plastic jug, but one of the large cans is fine too. Then I add a large can of fire roasted tomatoes, although any crushed or diced tomatoes will do if you can't find the fire roasted. Then I add all of the chopped peppers.

For some color and flavor, I found some lovely yellow tomatoes and diced them up. Then I kind of cheated and added pre-diced onions and green peppers from the grocery store to save myself a little chopping. Oh and a small can or two of chopped green chilis is always in my chili, because I usually can't find so many interesting peppers.

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I found some coarse ground chili meat and browned it up first, then added some packaged chili seasoning to the meat. Right at the end when the meat is alost done, I add some minced garlic, just to brown it up a little, without letting it get burned.

After I add the meat, I throw in a nice pile of chili powder, and a few generous palmfuls of crushed red pepper flakes for some heat. I also stir in some light red kidney beans that I have set to soak the night before and then boiled until soft. I let the whole concoction cook in the crock pot on high for about six hours, and the result is spectacular, and the best part is that the leftovers taste even better. When it sits in the fridge for a couple of days, the flavors combine even more.

The chili is best served with cheese and sour cream on top, and some chopped green onions make a nice topping too, but I don't have any today. Don't forget the oyster crackers, and a nice cold beer also goes well with this chili.

So if this sounds appealing to you, feel free to steal and/or adapt my recipe. I have made it many other ways including one with a splash of tequila in it, and so far all of them have been good. Do you make chili, and if so, what special ingredients do you use?

There was just this story on the evening news about how a former worker in the cafeteria at work, the one in the NASA Headquarters building, is suing the food service company over making her serve food that was "unfit for human consumption" every day. Her stories were horrendous- of chicken that sat out for days raw and then was cooked after it was starting to stink and served to unsuspecting customers. The lady said that all of the leftover food that went unsold was chopped up and put in the chili! Anyway, I am super cheap and both Andy and I always bring our lunches, and now I am glad of it. That cafeteria is ridiculously expensive anyway. Gross.

Here is something I just don't understand. Why is it that people are always forcing food on me? I am not skinny, so it is not like I need it, and I try to eat very healthily. I eat only "good carbs" and no sugar at all. I will eat things like tortillas and pasta, but only if they are whole grain. I don't drink any caffeine. I am one of those people that could gain weight just be being in the same room as a donut, so I stay away from all of that crap. I have a lot of will power to resist these things and I do not feel left out when other people eat these things around me. Why is it that it absolutely drives some people crazy when I don't eat these foods that are constantly brought in to work, such as donuts, cake, and so on? One of my friends, who is a little stick-man and complains about not being able to gain weight, takes it personally when I won't eat the garbage food that is brought in all the time. He is always offering it, saying "have a piece of cake, come on, just a little one, just a bite" and I always say no, or just smile and ignore it. He knows that I don't eat sugar or bad carbs and that I have no desire to, but constantly is shoving it in my face, trying to get me to eat it. When I don't he gets frustrated with me and says "You're impossible." Personally I don't understand why it matters to anyone other than myself what I eat. It certainly shouldn't.

My grandma, who I love dearly, is the grand champion of all time of getting people to eat. Everytime we would go out she would be trying to give us part of her meal. At home she would cook wonderful meals and desserts such as the best rice pudding you could imagine. She would even package the pudding into individual disposable containers to make the food extra easy to eat. You had no excuse not to eat because all you needed was a spoon and there were no dishes to do afterward. Me and my cousins would sit around the kitchen table at Grandma's a lot, talking and playing cards. She would ask us if we wanted some fruit to eat, and we would always say no. She would ignore that and prepare bowls of perfectly bite-sized cut up fruit and place them around the table right at our fingertips. Of course we would start picking at the fruit and eventually it would be gone, without us even noticing we'd eaten it. She tricked us into it every time!

Writing these things is kind of addictive and Captain Hops at Beer Haiku Daily has posted two more of my creations today. Click here to check it out.

I am a major tortilla addict. You may remember me mentioning that Andy said I was going to TURN INTO a quesadilla. I make burritos, wrap sandwiches, soft tacos, quesadillas and so on with my wonderful tortillas. A few weeks back I almost had to hurt someone at the grocery store because they stopped carrying my precious tortillas, the Mission brand low carb whole wheat kind. I searched four other grocery stores to no avail! After a few weeks, they finally got some in, but they were gone quickly and were not restocked. I finally went to the store manager and told him that I must have these very tortillas, and that they must be here every week! Well the grocery manager at Publix (yay Publix!) came through for me- he even called the house to tell me they were in, and gave me two packs of them for free! I know he must have thought I was nuts, as certainly you all do now, but I am happy.

So that brings me to another great source of tortilla induced happiness I stumbled on today. This great book, "101 Things To Do With A Tortilla". The title sounds almost dirty if you think about it too much. But inside are all kinds of neat recipe ideas; breakfast lunch, dinner, appetizers and even desserts. There are recipes for tortilla soups, wraps, rolls, stacks, casseroles, and more. I can't wait to try them.

What about you? Is there something you can't live without at the grocery store? One item whose absence might make you go postal? Let's hear it!

It seems that lately I can't remember shit. CRS disease, you know. I finally started carrying a little teeny notebook around with me to jot stuff down in a last ditch effort not to forget my head! The problem particularly manifests itself when it comes to packing lunch for work. First it was with salads; I would pack the salad, and forget the dressing, ugh! Then I started making things like wrap sandwiches and burritos with whole wheat tortillas, only I started to forget the tortillas. Just try to eat a sandwich or a bean burrito without the tortilla to wrap it in. Just try! This has not happened only a couple of times, but rather, repeatedly. I am constantly forgetting an essential component of my lunch at least one, maybe two days a week now. I guess I am really losing it. I guess this is what it is like to get old. What do you think? Is there any hope for me?