This week is going to be a busy but fun one. Tonight Andy and I are got dressed up fancy for the company's annual big awards event at the Radisson in Cape Canaveral. We get to go every year due to my position on the awards board. They put on a good show and I was happy to see that several of the nominations I wrote or rewrote extensively were chosen as winners. It is a big challenge for me to be able to write the top award winning nominations. I guess that I figure if I can't be the one to win the awards, at least I can make sure they go to deserving people.

Job future uncertainty does funny things to some people. Ugly things. With the looming retirement of the shuttle program and transition into the next space program, fewer people are expected to be needed and it this knowledge is having a distinct effect on the workforce.

Personally, I have no worries about my future employment. I am confident in my skills, abilities, and talents and am absolutely at peace with the whole transition. But there are quite a few workers that do worry about their futures and some let it consume them.

The other person that inhabits the same shop as me is one of the consumed. He doesn't really talk about it, but there has been some gradual changes in his behavior for the worse. He has always been difficult, but for some reason electrical technicians (at least the male ones) are almost always very strange or eccentric and difficult to get along with. Lately, it is like he has a fire lit under his butt to get things done, but he rushes around with such urgency that it causes him to make mistakes and then he has to go back and fix them. It also causes him to drive me completely nuts.

He currently has absolutely nothing in his workload to be stressed about, yet he finds a way to get himself all wound up about nothing. When he's all wound up about things he becomes a control freak. He's always cold, so he keeps turning up the thermostat in our shop. The thermostat only adjusts from about 72 degrees to about 78. I am usually running hot, and I can't stand it when I walk in from the hallway and it feels warmer. If he would just leave it so that the room was the same as the rest of the building, I would be happy, but several times a day he walks over and pushes it up.

I am willing to compromise, but he can put on a sweatshirt, and I can't do anything about the heat. Yesterday after luch I took a government vehicle and left to go to a meeting. I left my computer up and running on my desk, my desk light was on, and all of my stuff was still there. When I got back, he had left for the day already and had turned off the lights to the room and locked the door. I have a key, so it was no big deal, but it was just so juvenile of him to do that when he knew I was coming back.

I hope he gets over this phase, because it is starting to wear on me. I even signed up for a one day class at work that will be held later this year called "Working with you is killing me" in an effort to learn strategies for dealing with difficult types. I just love the name of the class- hopefully I will gain some insight through it.

I have been emailing back and forth with my instructor from Airframe and Powerplant mechanics school, where I got the license that allowed me to become an aircraft mechanic and ultimately get my current job working on the shuttle program.

Through my instructor, I have been requested for a phone interview to the school's PR representative, for their website as a "success story." I am a success? That is news to me. Hey, whatever- I'll take what I can get. Also, I was requested for another interview from the state department of education for a publication they produce for middle schoolers about career choices. It is amazing to me that I could be a good influence on school children. Go figure. Both phone interviews will probably be conducted in the next couple of weeks, in the office of one of my company's PR reps to be on the safe side. I requested sample questions from both interviewers so that I can at least partially compose answers that will be tailored to the audiences they are intended for. For example, I do not want to speak very technically and in depth for an audience of sixth graders, because it will be over their heads and will not have the desired impact.

This whole phone interview thing is a whole new thing for me. Have you had interviews like this and how did you prepare for and/or handle them?

Poppy posted the other day about questioning her own intentions when she did things sometimes. As in whether she was doing something nice just to make someone happy or if she was getting something out of it, making her feel that she was not as selfless as she had hoped.

I know for a fact that some of the nice things I do are motivated by me getting something out of them. Maybe it doesn't make me selfless, but I don't think it takes much away from the things I do- the end result is the same. Specifically, I devote a large amount of time and energy to writing award nominations for other people, many that I do not even know. I help the submitters by rewriting the nominations for them because many of them are not good writers and do not know what it takes to write a compelling award nomination. The other day, I even volunteered to help a nominator who is really mean and bitchy by rewriting her nomination, even though I do not agree that the team even deserves the award. I stopped and asked myself why on earth I would do such as thing as to volunteer for this. What was I getting out of it? What was my motivation? For one thing, I don't want to hear the nominator piss and moan about her nomination being rejected again. That is an easy one. But more than that, I think I am doing it just to be able to show the nominator what a good nomination looks like so she will realize why hers didn't win (twice), and stop blaming it on the ignorance of the board members, of which I am one. I think that makes me officially evil. Heh.

It is an unusual experience working at a place as far removed from the rest of the world as I do, with only a couple of different routes in and out. I take the south route into the space center, but no matter the route, the roads in and out of KSC are referred to as the "NASA 500" at shift change times, due to the vast numbers of cars racing in and out of the center at lightning speeds.

There is a funny little old man that works out there in a support function that causes him to have to come to our area every once in a while. The guys all call him "Road Rage" because of his behavior on the road when they see him on the way home. From all accounts, if he gets boxed in or can't pass, the mild-mannered, quiet little man turns all shades of crimson and beats his fist on the dashboard as he screams obscenities. The guys try to box him in sometimes just to see him erupt.

It is weird to try to imagine this little old dude as someone with that much anger, yet somehow- he is. It just proves that you should be careful who you piss off while driving, because they could be a quiet little psycho like our Road Rage, and jump out of the car only to rip your head off. I think driving in heavy traffic breeds a whole new variety of temporary psychosis itself. Public Service Message: Be wary of the person in the vehicle next to yours; you never know what they are capable of.

In some of my side endeavors at work, the ones that go beyond my normal responsibilities, I have been interfacing with some people in different areas and disciplines than myself, so-called experts in their field. On the company website several of them have their "bios" listed with all of their past accomplishments, awards, and histories. Most of the bios sound quite impressive and make them sound as though they really know what they are doing and have tons of experience. I look at these bios and find them laughable, as I have worked with these people enough to know that they are not experts, and that they don't even know the basics of their field. As far as their years of experience, they must have slept through most of them, because they learned nothing. I know this because I do know their field quite well. It is really kind of sad, actually.

I wondered why they kept getting upset with me for questioning things at meetings, and now I know it is because my questions were things they didn't know the answers to but should have, and I was inadvertently highlighting their incompetence. But it is not limited to just incompetence; these people have no desire to learn, either. You would think that if someone showed them up in their supposed field of expertise that they would make a point of studying up and ensuring that they knew what the answers were for the next meeting at the very least. But they are apathetic; they don't research, and they end up looking stupid again at the next meeting. Whatever. I can't help someone that won't help himself.

The deceptive praise for these employees in their bios on the company website just goes to show that even if a person has a fantastic bio, or resume, or recommendation letter, they can still be a worthless lump. It is all about the creative writing of the resume author, it seems, and many people have help with their resumes, so you aren't even guaranteed to get a creative writer by selecting someone with an impressive resume. It must be very difficult from the standpoint of someone that is hiring people to wade through all the bullshit and figure out which candidates for a job are actually worth a damn. Hmm.

Okay, I will admit that I am not a ray of sunshine at every moment, but I think that most of the time I manage to remain as optimistic as possible without being completely unrealistic. Unfortunately I share a working area with someone who could be described as an "Eeyore," someone who sucks the energy out of a room with his negativity.

I didn't even realize it at first, but after several months of hearing the deep sighs and the daily incarnation of "woe is me" for whatever reason, it finally became very clear to me what the problem is. My co-worker, Mr. Negativity, is not only negative about everything in his own life, he also does his best to rain on my parade whenever he can. Actually, it's more like he shits all over my parade, but whatever.

I have known people before that did not like their jobs and were very negative about work related things, but at least they had things in their lives that did make them happy, so they weren't all doom and gloom all of the time. But not Mr. Negativity. I have never heard him say anything positive about anything- even having time off from work will make him complain about all of the work he has to do at home when he's off. Then when he comes back to work he'll complain about having to come back. He could win the lottery and would still bitch about the taxes. What do you even say to someone like that?

Now I realize that there are problems that come up from time to time, but I don't know why he can't ever see them as I do. When a work problem comes up, I think of it as a chance to innovate, to come up with a creative solution. I just get worn down having to listen to his defeatist attitude all of the time. The person who used to work with Mr. Negativity before I did was moved out of our area over a year ago, and went from being someone that just dragged himself into work each day and did what he had to, to someone that has gone on to do great things and inspire others in his new group. He had become stagnant while working with Mr. Negativity, and now I can see exactly why. To see how he changed so much with the only real difference being that he was removed from the constant pessimism is a testament to the powers of negative thinking. I don't want to get caught in that downward spiral, so I am going to have to focus myself on being even more positive to counteract him.

Maybe I'll try something new on Monday. When he first makes a negative comment, I'll suggest we try a little game. We'll see if he can go for an hour without saying anything negative. He might take offense to that, but maybe he needs to hear it so that he will wake up and realize how he comes across. I'll make an experiment out of it, to see if positivity can win out over negativity. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I spent most of yesterday evening working on my resume. I meant to post, but it took a lot longer than I thought it would to put together something that looked halfway decent. I hate writing those things because it is so hard to promote yourself without sounding like a cheese ball. I haven't updated my resume in over five years, even though I know it would be smart to keep it up to date all of the time. Do you keep your resume updated in case an opportunity arises, or would you have to scramble to put something together? What kind of things do you have in the "profile" or "objective section at the top, or do you eve have that section? That is the worst part to write, in my opinion.

This week is one that I normally take off from work, but I am sticking with it this year. I have a lot going on with special projects at work, so I want to be there, plus it is not a bad idea for me to save my vacation time for those occasions I might need it relating to the house project. I want to take a good couple of weeks off when we move into the new house to get the dogs all acquainted and comfortable with the place before we have to go back to work. Granted we are a long way away from that time, but it can't hurt to save up some time.

It is a bit like a ghost town at work. There are some people there but most of them do not have their minds on work. I am trying to use the time wisely in order to get ahead a little bit. Next week I will be off work whether I like it or not, because my entire area will be shut down. This is probably a good thing.

What kind of break do you get for the holidays?

You might remember that I posted some time ago about a certain group of "represented" employees that went on strike. If you can believe it, it has now been 138 days that they have been sitting out by the side of the road, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And life at the space center has gone on without them. I am not going to go into the politics of unions or even what I think about this particular strike as it is immaterial.

There were negotiations between the union and the company yesterday, and they continued today, but no information has come out. Everyone is still in the dark about what is going on. I am going to point you toward a forum run by the major newspaper in this area, and a particular thread that is now 89 pages long so that you can see what a strike can do to people. There is a lot of back and forth banter between strikers and non-represented employees and the general public. Some of it is downright viscious, but it is interesting how strikes have moved from being just about the picket line to having a presence on the internet. There is a blog for the union strikers and all of this discussion on the forums. It is definitely a different world.

Anyway, it seems that a strike only tears people apart. Even if there is a contract agreement made, I don't know how anyone can expect that a die hard union person can work alongside a so-called scab ever again. It just won't work; there are too many hurt feelings on both sides.

If you are interested, you can follow a lot of the banter here. There are several other threads like this one, but this one has stuck around the longest. Be forewarned, you may get sucked in to the story and there is a lot to read. You could lose some serious time following the saga.

Today at 11:38 am Discovery lifted off on its way to the International Space Station. I have seen quite a few launches now, the last seven plus years worth, but they are always special. I can't see a launch ever seeming routine.

There is always excitement in the air on launch days. Even those workers that have spent their entire careers in the various space programs get excited about launches. You won't find anyone inside during a launch except those who have to be, for the most part.

I remember when I first started working at the space center, there was a guy in my shop who didn't care in the least about launches. He couldn't even be bothered to go outside or even stand in a doorway to watch. He said he'd seen launches and didn't need to see another one. That is sad. But he is the only person with that attitude that I have ever encountered out there and he's a little wacked in the head. Personally I think that a person like that shouldn't be permitted to work on the space program, because there are so many people out there who would jump at the chance and really appreciate it.

I have included Andy's video of the launch. It isn't perfect, but it is better than my video, which was really sucky. The durned thing is just so bright it overwhelms the equipment and makes those white lines on the screen. My video did the same thing, and it would probably have made you dizzy because I shook the camera so much.

I can't believe this is the same place I woke up in this morning. The nasty rainy weather has completely moved out and it was beautiful this afternoon. That is one of the nice things about Florida- we don't generally get days on end of icky weather, it just comes in spurts. And hopefully the weather will stay fair, because we have a launch scheduled for tomorrow at 11:38 am Eastern time.

There are lots of interesting things about the upcoming launch of Discovery for STS-120. One of the most interesting to me is the roles that women fill in this mission. The Associated Press explains it like this:

It will be the first time in the 50-year history of spaceflight that two women are in charge of two spacecraft at the same time.

"I really haven't heard very much like that at all from the Russian perspective," Whitson said in an interview with The Associated Press last week. "Russian cosmonauts are very professional and having worked and trained with them for years before we get to this point, I think makes it better because then it doesn't seem unusual to them either."

In other mission news, those of you who are big fans of Star Wars will be excited to know that the original lightsaber used by Mark Hamill in Return of the Jedi will be flown to the International Space Station and then will return to earth in celebration of the 30th anniversary of the Star Wars franchise. Whoopee.

Anyway, we are hoping for good weather tomorrow to see this bird off. I will post photos, video or whatever I get from work at the time if she goes.

Being involved with company awards programs for the past five years, I have picked up a thing or two about thhe art of writing a compelling award nomination. If I do say so myself, I have almost a talent for composing winning nominations when I can extract all the information I need from the nominator. I handle everything for the managers. When theirnominations come in, I research and rewrite them, asking questions where I need info to fill in the blanks. Most or all of them like for me to take care of everything, because it is such a pain for them otherwise.

From the things I have learned while serving on the various awards boards I am on, I have written extensive "how to" material. I have written tons on how to write a successful award nomination and given examples, and why it is important to explain things a certain way or phrase things in a specific manner. The PR department in charge of the entire awards program has recently begun teaching classes on award nomination writing for managers. The people in charge of this asked for input from members of the top level awards board months ago, and I submitted all of the documents I had written to help the managers within my group. It turned out that I was one of few (or maybe the only one) to submit anything and a huge portion of the course material they are teaching in the classes now is my work, down to the exact words and phrases I used. I am fine with that and feel it is flattering to me.

The thing that bugs me a little is that I have been working hard for over five years now to get top awards for hundreds of people in my directorate. The PR people have said to mangement over and over how important it is to show employees that their contributions are valued through the awards program. How recognition is a key thing even more so than pay and benefits in a lot of cases. And they nod in agreement. And they nominate employees for awards. Except me. And yes, I am still eligible, although my achievement has to be greater than the average award winner for me to win since I am on the board. Typically they have the other members vote in secret when a board member is nominated so it remains a surprise if the nomination is selected. It happens regularly and is no big deal.

But lately, my achievements have been of a large magnitude. I can't go into any kind of detail because of the nature of my work, unfortunately. But it is significant and is in several areas. I have been killing myself to overachieve to an enormous extent. But there is nothing. It is like they just forget all about me when it comes to recognition. I am forever having to fight for awards for people that did little or nothing beyond the scope of their jobs, and it is beginning to wear on me. Especially when I see nominations for individuals that I could only describe as idiotic horse's asses. I am not supposed to care, I guess, but I can't help wishing someone would recognize how hard I am working and the sacrifices I have made. I have made it a priority to do everything in my power to get nominations from the managers in my group to emerge as winners, but I think the appreciation for that and the much larger more significant things I do is non-existent and my hard work is taken completely for granted. Why do these people think that when "employees" value recognition for the work that they have done, that it excludes certain people?

Do I have to save the planet to be worthy of recognition while everyone else can just show up and maybe be mildly productive and have awards shooting out of their asses?

Employee retention is a really hot topic for those in charge at work. They are very concerned about keeping the best and brightest workers around for the long haul. There was a huge study done by a corporation that specializes in advising companies on things such as employee retention. In the study, they surveyed regular "worker bees" and managers. They asked the workers to rank certain items in order of importance. Things such as monetary compensation, benefits, job satisfaction, and so on. They asked managers to rank the same items, but to rank them in the order of importance that they thought the workers would choose. According to the results of the study, the number one most important thing to the workers was getting credit for the work they have accomplished. This was way down around number eight for what the managers thought their employees would say. The managers thought that salary would be the number one item, but it actually ended up about fifth in importance to workers.

Due to these trends, a new level of importance has been placed on our awards program. I have been involved heavily with the awards program at work for about five years, almost as long as I have been there. I serve on several boards, some that narrow down the nominees and one that chooses the winners. The awards we determine are competitive and require a very well thought out nomination in order to win.

I have been helping management in my group for the past couple of years to get their award nominations up to snuff. I know what I and the rest of the board members that make the final determinations are looking for so it is not that difficult for me. I wrote a whole dissertation with lots of tips and examples for the managers in my department to show them what was needed in a nomination to make it a winner. After all, it helps me out when the quality of nominations coming in is high- that way there is that much less research and rework I need to complete for each one to get it approved and chosen as a winner.

The department that runs the entire awards program recently decided to provide training to managers on how to write award nominations. They asked for the board members input on this and I sent them all of my documents with tips and explanations of how to write a successful award nomination. I assumed all of the other board members did the same. Apparently they did not contribute much, as the preliminary looks at the course material show me that it is primarily my words that were adopted in the training program. I am fine with that- I am glad they thought what I wrote was good enough to use. I am a bit surprised that no one else contributed, though.

Anyway back to the point- what do you think about the whole employee retention thing? What is most likely to make you stay with a company? Is good pay the most important thing? Benefits? Flexible hours? Recognition for the things you have contributed? Something else entirely?

I'm sure you've heard it before- "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Recently at work I have identified to upper management something that is very important and absolutely needs to be addressed. Unfortunately it also presents an enormous challenge, one that is particularly daunting. I have done tons of research and offered all kinds of solutions, but I find that I still meet lots of hesitation. This issue isn't something that we have a choice about dealing with- it MUST be addressed. The scope of the work that must be done is frightening people off, and they look at it and say that they need to "chew on it for a while."

All of this is fine, but when there is some large project to be done, I see that most people that want to stand around and look at the elephant and say, "That's a really big elephant" and try to figure out if they like the taste of elephant meat. Nobody wants to dive in and tackle anything. I am the opposite. When presented with a challenge I want to quickly formulate a plan and then find a place to start. Just standing around staring at the elephant doesn't achieve anything. So I will go ahead and give the people in the positions to make changes and get things rolling everything they could possibly need to get started, to propel them forward in hopes that once they get moving the momentum will carry them onward. I end up preparing a plate of elephant for them, metaphorically, and cutting it all into teeny tiny pieces that they can handle. I can feed them the elephant steak, but I can't chew it for them.

What I want to know is why are people so reluctant about everything? If I were in charge I would be a "doer." I would do things and change things, where it could be beneficial, so fast it would make people's heads spin. Maybe I am not cut out for this kind of work. Maybe they don't want people who challenge the status quo. I am bound and determined to find out, though. I'll let you know how it goes, at least in the long term, elephants be damned.

No offense to the elephants, of course.

Do you ever feel as though you are surrounded by idiots? I do frequently. It never ceases to amaze me the depths of stupidity around me. I was thinking today, I wish I could work around more people who had IQs above room temperature, but I don't know where that would be. I think that most people would assume that where I work everyone would be terribly smart with it being basically rocket science, and all. I know that before I got out there I pictured a bunch of smart people running around in white lab coats, but that is not even close to the reality of it. For the most part, the people that actually get things done are of average to high intelligence. But we are frequently having to fight against ridiculous rules and policies because of the dumbass "policy makers." Woo hoo; they've got some real doozies there. I have been involved in some working groups lately with some of them, and it just floors me how these people could have made it as far as they have knowing as little as they do about the fields they have specialized in.

The other thing I have noticed is that you can't tell a damn thing by a person's credentials or work history. I have dealt with some of these fucktards, and then I have seen their "bios" listed on an internal website with their so-called credentials. On paper they sound phenomenal, but in person it takes only a few minutes to discern that they are blithering idiots who are completely unaware of the world around them.

I am one of those people that is always doing anything and everything I can to improve working conditions, safety, efficiency, etc. Lately I have been shut down on my ideas and efforts by morons for no legitimate reasons and I am starting to get frustrated. I am starting to fear that I'll give up eventually and just stop caring. I am a big fighter when it comes to things I believe in, so I do not want to let these dimwits "break" me. I just wish that everything didn't have to be a fight. UGH.

Goodness! I can't believe how very busy I have been lately. I am trying my best to keep up with everything, but certain things like work and house planning and dog training have taken precedence, leaving little time for blogging. But I am making an effort at least.

I am deeply absorbed in some self-initiated projects at work that involve a lot of research. I have discovered that I have a real love of learning or natural curiosity and I can spend hours reading and researching topics in order to understand a concept. I have found a bachelor's degree program that is online and that focuses in the area that very closely deals with my work- Occupational Safety and Health- and I am looking into completing my degree in that area. I already spend an inordinate amount of time researching and studying in this field so why not get a degree?

I would describe my little pursuits to you in greater detail but I fear that it would bore you into a coma-like state, if not death. I think most people are bored nearly to death by the things that interest me. Oh well.

On another note, Ramona has completely vanished just now under the bed. Andy came up to go to bed carrying a blanket that Michaela likes to sleep on that he had washed. He was flipping the blanket around and snapping it and he managed to scare the hell out of little suspicious Ramona. She went straight under the bed growling and he couldn't convince her to come out for a while. Finally she came out when he was giving treats to Annabel for sitting, and standing and such. She's such a little poop sometimes. I don't know what gets into her.

Lately I have been involved in lots of meetings and things with different groups trying to hash things out. It has forced me to think about the concept of teamwork and how people work together. Team dynamics are interesting when you really examine them. While I can work on a team, I am not a very good team player, but it isn't because I disagree with everyone. I have the habit of being the one to take the reins on everything and I end up doing all of the work. While I don't mind doing everything, it really is not a team accomplishment when everyone just gives their blessing to what I have done. I think I work that way mostly because I don't trust anyone else to do things right - or even do them at all in some cases.

In school whenever I had to work on a group project, I would always ask for my part of the project and would execute it, but I never really collaborated with the rest of the team. That was back when I was very shy and reserved. Those days are over and now in a meeting I will not only speak my mind but will end up taking over the meeting in most cases. The surprising thing is that I don't meet much resistance. I have found that if a person feels strongly about something, has done the research to the point where people believe they are well educated on the subject, and are willing to do the work, others will generally welcome it and drop back into the shadows. In most cases it seems that people don't want to do the work, so if I do it, they are so thrilled that they don't have to that they just go along with whatever I say. So it as it turns out, here is little old me writing major policy for the entire center. A little initiative is all it takes, and I love it because I get to be creative and feel like I am making a difference.

So my concept of teamwork is changing, somewhat. I used to think of it more as a group of people contributing roughly evenly, but lately it seems that there is a vast difference in the amount of effort put forth by members of teams. Some are content to sit back while others are the doers and accomplish the work. Of course every team is not that way, but many of the ones I have experienced are. How do you feel about teams collaborating? Are you able to participate in group activities on certain projects and do you feel that the team members each contribute equally to the group or is it mostly the work of one person or a couple of people with only small contributions from the rest?

These are a couple of photos of the Orbital Manuevering System Pod my co-workers and I have been working on for the last few months and that we delivered today for installation on Discovery, or OV-103, for STS-120. Yay! Thank God it is finally done! More blogging to come on an evening when I haven't been up since 2:30 am as I have today.

Once again, I am a bit behind on my blogging. Posting, reading blogs of others, commenting and posting responses to those that comment here. I will catch up, I promise.

We are in the final stretch of finishing work on the Orbital Manuevering System Pod we have been working on since January, I think. It will be installed on Discovery and will fly on STS-120. I have to be at work at four in the morning tomorrow as we are going to lift the Pod onto a trailer and move it to the Orbiter Processing Facility by way of a convoy. This is the culmination of many months of hard work and it can't come too soon as everyone is really ready to see it go.

Yesterday one of the engineers that I work with, my least favorite one to say the least, made me like him even less. For an engineer, he is not very smart and is frequently in over his head on things. He thinks he is very smart and wants to make sure everyone knows he is so he goes to great lengths to make other people look stupid. He is extremely condescending and you can never get a direct answer form him. He answers every question with another question. If you ask him where to find a certain piece of information he will say "did you look [insert place]? He's like that with every question, no matter what it is. Even if it is a yes or no question he will counter with "What do you think?" or "Did you ask so-and-so?" It is enough to drive anyone nuts.

Yesterday I went to him with a certain thing that I was working on to help expedite things that was not even my job to do- it was actually his responsibility, but I was helping out because I am a team player and all. I asked him a few questions because I needed some guidance and he pushed me aside several times. He sort of pointed me toward some drawings and specifications. He acted like he was doing ME a huge favor in doing so, but it did not help me at all. When my second shift counterpart came in and I filled him in on the situation, he went off the deep end going on and on about something I knew nothing about. It turns out that the only other person that knew the information I needed was the engineer I had gone to that morning who wouldn't help me, Mr. Personality himself. My counterpart said "Why in the hell didn't you go to [mean shitty condescending engineer]?" At that point I was pissed and told him to shove it up his ass, that I had gone to him and that the dickhead refused to help.

Anyway, all's well that ends well. Everything got all cleared up, everything is fine, and my counterpart apologized profusely for being such a jerk, which he was, but I got over it. He is a good person overall he just speaks and reacts sometimes before he has all of the information and he needs to work on that. The condescending "I'm better than you" engineer on the other hand is malicious and I am tired of his crap. He will get no help from me anytime in the near future, and my boss supports me in that. He agrees that I am under no obligation to stick my neck out to help the guy. Why do some people have to be such asshats? Next time I will tell him to pack sand.

Some recent events at work have made it a necessity for me to pitch in and work *gasp* overtime. I know a lot of people live off overtime and can't survive without it, but I generally keep it to a minimum because I enjoy my time off. You know, less time for blogging and all. Anyway I have to be at work at three in the morning tomorrow, so I will be cutting my blog writing and reading session short tonight.

Andy's job kind of make it necessary for him to work overtime fairly frequently- not all the time but in spurts. He would rather have the time off, but it does pay well- we get time and a half for overtime and double time on Sundays, so it is somewhat enticing. Do you work more than forty hours a week? If so do you get paid extra for working overtime, or is it just expected? Do you get compensated for your extra time in other ways, such as comp time?

Anyway- I am off to bed here in a few- my one thirty alarm will be buzzing very soon!

Mondays are sucky. Ugh. Andy had to get up at one o'clock in the morning to be at work by two am for the third day in a row, poor thing. I had to get up extra early too, because I had to get all ready for work and do all of the morning feeding and caretaking chores for our pack/flock before I left at just after six am. Normally Andy does at least half of the morning chores. The kids require quite a lot of care.

Just as I was getting finished up and got my lunch packed, I put on my glasses which I generally wear all week at work, but not on the weekends. I discovered a horrible series of scratches on one lens, right in the middle of my straight ahead view. Like they were dragged across the concrete. I tried cleaning them, but to no avail. I am not even sure how it happened. I was running around like crazy at work on Friday, and it must have been then, but I don't recall a specific incident that could have screwed up my lens so badly. What a bummer. Now I have to spend $62.50 to get a new lens and my frames are scratched in a couple of spots. Bummer. I have already learned to love hiding behind my glasses so I feel "exposed" without them. And I need them to be taken seriously. I look smarter with them and somehow command more respect with my glasses, so I need to get them fixed. They are my crutch now, even though they don't change my vision that much.

We are just getting into a big push at work, at least at the facility where I am. We are having to redo work that we have already redone once and it is through no fault of our own, just material fatigue or something- it is still under analysis- and it really stinks. I hate the feeling of spinning my wheels and that is what this feels like. But it has to get done or it will affect the launch schedule so we are expected to jump through our asses to get there, and jump we will.

I hope your Monday was better than mine.

Okay, I am back- actually I never left, I was just covered up with work, a lot of it self-imposed. But I finally made it through to the weekend, and then poor Andy had to work ten hours today. So I have been cathcing up on chores and such- grocery shopping, cleaning bird cages, you know, the usual.

This past week was very interesting. You may recall from one of my previous posts that I was busily compiling a giant book of information to prove a point. I had been consulted by a team of people that far outranked me for my knowledge on a particular issue. The group was already proceeding towards developing a process based on recommendations from some "subject matter experts" on the partcular process -which is federally mandated- in question. Shortly after I started working with the team, I noticed that the approach that the team was taking was seriously flawed and did not even come close to satisfying the regulations. Apparently the subject matter experts, who are degreed individuals specializing in this subject had misinterpreted the standards. To satisfy the requirements, we were going to have to do a massive amount of work, way more than was originally planned. I knew that this news was not going to be well received.

I mentioned this and sent some documentation to the leader of the smaller team I was working with, and it didn't sink in. He was not getting it because the "experts" had told him the approach he was taking was fine. He couldn't see the forest for the trees. I knew I had to do something before the team got too far along.

I managed to get a meeting set up with the superior a few levels above the subject matter experts on Friday. I had all of my documentation ready and I started describing what I knew to be true. He listened to my opening bit, that I thought we were doing things wrong, and then told me that the people in charge are highly qualified to interpret the standards and that they specialize in that sprecific process and are known as the experts. Still, I went on and I showed him a few documents to support what I was saying and showed some real life examples. Almost instantly he saw what I was talking about and agreed with me. Now the entire process is going to have to be rethought, but at least it will be right.

Now I just have to wonder about whether or not there will be any backlash from the experts that I kind of showed up. But I can't worry too much about that because I know I did the right thing. The fact that someone finally listened and agreed is a good feeling.

So that is what has taken up so much of my time and energy this week. That and the fact that Andy has been working really long hours every day this week so it leaves a lot more chores for me to take care of at home. Hopefully things will settle back down a little now. I am really looking forward to having the fourth of July off.

I find it so aggravating when people are ticked off at me because they think I made them look bad when I went to them first and gave them every opportunity to rectify the situation before taking it further. After I have given someone several chances to do their job and they ignore me, why is it my fault if they look crappy to another party? The way I look at it, I am not making them look bad- they are making themselves appear in a negative light.

I wrote a very nice and respectful email to a certain individual at work and copied it to the other people that were involved in the situatation and had participated in meetings on the topic but I know I asked a very unpopular question that he does not have the answer to. I have not heard a peep since then- Friday morning when I sent the email- so I am starting to wonder what the deal is.

Anyway, I'll probably end up being the bad guy on this, even though I shouldn't be, but whatever. I know it must be my fault that his person chose not to do their job. Do you ever find yourself in a pickle for trying to do thhe right thing when it happens to be unpopular?

Well the union that represents a portion of the workers at my company decided to go on strike yesterday. There are many rules that govern how the whole thing is to be handled. All of the workers in our company are forced to enter and exit the Center using the same two gates rather than the four that are normally allowed. This has to do with the fact that other contractors must be provided with entrances free of picketers, but yet everyone in our company must go through picket lines, even though most of us are not even eligible to be represented by the union. The whole thing really has nothing to do with people in my position at all.

The whole strike thing is a very unfortunate one. Lucky for me, the normal route I take to and from work is one of the approved routes, because some people must drive way out of their way to get to work now through the gates that have picket lines. And there are some shenanigans. I think that sometimes a few of the picketers forget that we are their friends and co-workers, we are not the enemy. People in positions like mine could not even decide to go on strike with the union people to support them if we wanted to- if we didn't show up for work, we would be fired. This morning there were vehicles driven by picketers that were blocking both lanes of traffic right in front of me, going about five miles per hour. They would just drive up and down the street to impede us getting to work. I don't really see the point of it. There was one instance where two vehicles that were riding in the two lanes sid-by-side and blocking traffic suddenly slammed on the brakes when people behind them trying to get to work were traveling at or slightly above the speed limit of 55 mph. Drivers had to swerve and nearly run off the road to aviod collisions. That is just insanity. That was this morning, by this afternoon the cops were there monitoring and everyone was on their best behavior.

I feel bad for the picketers. They are in a terrible uncertain position during the strike, and are not getting paid. They have families to support. Picketing has to be absolutely miserable as well. The heat is intense this time of year, and the mosquitoes are unbearable. Still I wish that all of them would realize that the people they are often directing their anger at are not the ones that are to blame for this situation. The majority of them know this, but there are a few very militant ones that seem to think everyone on the Center is their enemy, and when they get wound up, some of the others get caught up in the fervor and emotion of the moment and do things they wouldn't normally do. I hope the situation is resolved soon to everyone's satisfaction.

The company I work for is a contractor for NASA and employs people that perform all kinds of different jobs. Some of the positions fall into a category where they are considered "represented" meaning their contract is negotiated by a union. My job does not even fall into this classification, known as "bargaining unit" and we are not eligible for the union. Of those that work bargaining unit jobs, the employees do not have to join the union, it is an option and if they join they pay dues weekly. So it turns out that less than 10% of the people that work for our company are union members.

This past weekend the union voted to strike over the new contract they were offered, which surprises me because many people have said it is the best one they have ever been offered. Still, the strike is imminent, and is set for Sunday at one minute after midnight. They are on the "cooling off" period right now. It is all very strange. Those of us that are non-union had to have our badges sealed in these funky pouches and when we come to work Monday, if the strike is still on, we have to use certain routes to access the center or risk termination of employment.

I hope that something gets worked out soon, as I have heard that things have gotten ugly during strikes in the past. Back the last time this happened picketers would sometimes throw things at cars as they drove past or would try to block traffic going in to work. I hope they do not feel the need to do that this time. I understand that they have the right to strike and picket, but I hope that they realize that we are not scabs, we are just people in non-represented job classifications and we have to go to work or we don't eat.

You may or may not know this about me based on whether or not you know me in real life, but I am a neat freak. Like nearly a full blown OCD type neat freak. For the past four or five years I have been suffering from extreme fatigue, even while medicated, and a lot of my natural OCD tendencies were squelched just because I didn't have the energy to be quite as anal as I would have liked.

Lately, I have finally arrived at an adequate dose of medication to offset the fatigue. I still get very tired, but it is more because I have been so busy DOING THINGS that I get worn out rather than just feeling overwhelmingly exhausted all of the time for no reason.

So anyway, with being back to a point where I have energy again, I have launched into many projects at home and work, cleaning things up and making things better as much as possible. If you didn't know me five years ago, you would think that I have changed quite a bit, because I am so driven to take care of details in my general work area. Actually, I haven't changed at all, I just have the wherewithall to get up out of my chair and take care of business now in the same way I would have before if I hadn't been crippled by fatigue. People are finally seeing the real me. It feels good, too!

This morning at work I was presented sort of an award, but not really- more like a mention or something for a safety issue I had identified and worked on. I got a certificate presented to me and they insisted on taking my picture with the presenter of the certificate. Later, the picture ended up in an email that went to everyone in our department. It wasn't a bad picture, but no Glamour Shot either.

One of the guys I work with announced upon seeing the picture in his email, that I should watch out, there may be some Photoshopping to come. He said this with an evil gleam in his eye meaning that he might take the picture and make some "modifications." I said "Fine, if you must Photoshop it, at least make me look good in it, okay?"

This morning after I had just gotten in the building at work and it was still dark outside, one of my co-workers came in and asked if a raccoon had tried to follow me in. I hadn't seen a raccoon, but apparently as he got out of his truck, one ran up and tried to follow him into the building. And when we looked out- the double doors to the outside have windows in them- he was out there looking in at us. If we opened the door he would try to dart in.

Just then another car pulled into the parking lot, and the raccoon hid behind the bumper of a car right next to the door so he could try to follow the next person into the building. It was actually pretty smart of him. I went out a different door so I could warn the person coming in so that she wouldn't freak out. She came in the other door, and the raccoon ran over and around the corner of the building and tried to follow us in the other door. Then he sat out just outside of the door, yawned, scratched, and waited.

Eventually we had to call the wildlife officers to come out. He finally left just before they got there, but they put out a trap and will relocate him elsewhere. We figured that someone on the night shift must be feeding him. We didn't want to have him trapped, but it was either that or we would have to get him a desk and a computer in the building, because by God, he was coming in. We can't have a wayward raccoon accosting people in the parking lot for their lunches.

I heard this afternoon that the reason the raccoon is so unafraid is that someone has been feeding him pretty regularly. He is so brazen that the night shift workers often have him walk up to them and tapp them on the back of the leg and then hold his hands out begging for food. Apparently he will eat right out of a person's hands. That is neat and all, but not a very good idea. I wish that people would realize that they are not doing the animals any good by feeding them. They have survived without our help for thousands of years, and the last thing they need is to become dependant on our junk food and to learn not to fear humans and potentially put themselves in danger. Poor raccoons.

Well, for any of you that read yesterday's post, I followed your recommendations and went for cute and more casual clothing for the training conference. And there was no need to worry, as the variety of dress I saw there was wide ranging. Women there were wearing everything from a top with sequins on it, to a seersucker sundress with the type of flip flops you would wear in the shower, those plastic ones. Some were dressed nicely, and others were in little more than a sweatsuit. So I did just fine with my outfit.

And the day was a good one. My favorite part was the speaker we had from mid-morning up until lunch time. Her name is Janie Walters, and she was such a great speaker- so funny and engaging. I think everyone really enjoyed that part because I don't see how she would have let us do anything otherwise. Some people just have that gift. I even bought one of her books after the session because she had me so interested in what she had to say.

Her topic for the conference was "Normal is gone and and it won't be back" -Coping with and embracing change. She mentioned how when people say "when things just get back to normal I'll...(fill in the blank)" and how with the constant changes that are going on in the world around us and especially the work place, things won't be going back to normal, and that we need to be flexible and adapt to change if we want to be valued by our employers. She did a terrific job with it. Hopefully I can take with me some of the things I learned today and apply them to my life. I'm off to start reading that book of hers.

I am happy to be attending a women's training session/conference in Cocoa Beach tomorrow, all paid for by my company. It is for Federally employed women, and there are speakers in the morning and our choice of workshops in the afternoon. It looks like it is going to be a good session.

In all the literature I have on the confrence, nothing really says anything about the dress code except a little blurb that says to "layer your clothing or bring a sweater or jacket to ensure your comfort." I asked one of the admins at work who went to it last year, and she said "business casual." Have you ever looked up business casual? The definition is wide ranging- anything from a dress to nice jeans and a polo shirt, depending on the place. I am a dumbass when it comes to this kind of stuff because my work life is spent in jeans. And at my company, even high ranking directors and program managers do not dress up. We are a jeans type of company.

I spent some time this evening trying on just about everything in my closet looking for an outfit that was business casual and I am still not sure that I suceeded. The top will be no problem, my biggest issue will be shoes, as I don't really own shoes that I think are appropriate. Then I could either wear a pair of navy blue pants that make me look frumpy, or a cute pair of slightly cropped pants that run the risk of being a little too casual, but I look good in. I am leaning towards wearing those pants, because I will probably be sitting for most of the day and no one will see my pants anyway. Shoes will have to be a pair of dark brown Doc Marten's slide type sandals. That is pretty much all I have to work with for shoes. As Andy pointed out, what are they going to do, throw me out? After all, there is no dress code that was formally communicated, and I'd rather look cute than frumpy.

I spent all day today in a class learning Dreamweaver for work, which was great, but it means I spent nearly eight hours staring at a computer screen and now I have a massive headache, so this is going to be short.

Sometimes I think that my far vision might be getting bad. I have always squinted to see things far away, yet my vision tests as 20/20. My dad always used to tell me to stop squinting as a kid. I never did. Today we each had our own computer in front of us, but we were also looking at the instructor's screen projected on the wall and I was at the back. At one point in the discussion the instuctor said, "Jen, you have a confused look, do you have a question?" I said, "No, I am just squinting because I can't see" and everyone laughed. But sadly it is the truth. I have no problems with close up stuff, and really I can see far away fine, but I think I am straining to do so and maybe that is why I have had a headache most of the day. I suppose I could go to see the eye doctor, but the problem is that wearing any kind of glasses gives me a headache, just from how they rest on my head. I can't even wear sunglasses for very long before it happens. So I guess I will just deal with it.

I have Dreamweaver class again all day tomorrow, so I think I'll go rest my eyes for a while now. Perhaps I should sit closer to the front of the room tomorrow, huh?

Tuesday night Andy and I attended the big awards ceremony our company puts on each year. Last year we were invited because Andy was one of the nominees, this year it was I am one of the board members. My group did very well with the awards, taking almost all of them. So now my director wants me to attend a meeting on Monday with all of his upper level managers so that we can talk about our successes from the past year and the areas we need to work on as far as employee recognition.

Some of you already know how terrified I am of public speaking. And around this time last year I was so worried about some public speaking I had to do in front of small groups of managers that I was a mess. But I have challenged myself by being on all of the boards I serve on and by being the sole speaker at monthly meetings with these groups, and it has gotten a lot easier. I can actually speak in front of people now without becoming a blithering idiot, at least not all of the time- sometimes I still sound like a dork. But I still get nervous to speak in front of manager types, I guess because of their power to ruin me or something. Strangely, I am fairly calm about this upcoming meeting, though. Maybe that means I have experienced some growth in the public speaking arena or have more confidence now. I don't even have to speak at the meeting, but I have been compiling all kinds of data and statistics that I actually WANT to share with these people. Amazing what a difference a year can make, huh?

The weather here right now is what makes me really thankful to be a Floridian. It is cool in the mornings but the sun brings it up to a comfortable 70 degrees or so by afternoon. And the nice weather has been bringing out tons of wildlife at work again.

Yesterday on the way to work a huge wild boar ran out in front of my Jeep. I didn't hit him, but he startled me. And that was just the beginning. Later in the day during one of my breaks, I took a bike ride down to the pond where I saw all of those alligators before. There were a bunch of them there, but not as many as in the picture I took. But just as I rode past the pond, out of a thicket at the side of the road, a gorgeous bobcat pranced out into the middle of the road, just yards away from me. I was so stunned to see it that I drew in my breath a little in surprise, and he quickly turned and was gone in a matter of seconds. But so very beautiful. And the largest bobcat I have ever seen, for sure.

Today I set off on a bicycle again at lunch, and as I rode by a sign post by the side of the road, a red-shouldered hawk sat perched there and just watched me go by without even flinching. I passed by him very slowly and he seemed utterly unconcerned. I was close enough to him to see every little downy feather and every scale on his legs. Later in my travels I paused for a while to watch an armadillo rooting around, at least until he caught me watching him and squeaked and ran away.

I feel so lucky to be able to enjoy the wonderful weather and peacefulness out there. I feel sorry for all of the people that are stuck in office buildings all day. Of course, I have been one of them at times before, and it didn't really bother me then. It is just so nice to be able to get outside once in a while. I'm glad I have the opportunity.

I got a wonderful opportunity at work this week, the chance to be a co-curator of a webpage on the company's intranet. It is the page of the Board that I am the chair of, but up until now whenever I wanted to make changes to the page I had to try to describe what I wanted to the curator and hope that she understood what I was talking about. So mostly I didn't update it very much because it was a hassle. It may not seem like much, but it means that I will get to take some basic training classes to learn Dreamweaver among other things, and I will get to work on my HTML skills. At work too, not just on my own time! How cool!

We had the most beautiful day today: sunny, clear and a little bit cooler than it has been with highs in the upper sixties. Believe it or not, that is a cool down for us. At work this afternoon, some of the guys came to find me and asked if I had my camera. I did, because I am rarely without it, and several of us took the van and drove just a little down the road to a spot I often walk to or ride my bike to at lunch, a body of water we call "Gator Lake." From these photos I took, you can see why we call it that. They had been driving by and saw the alligators stacked up on the banks like cars in a parking lot and wanted to share.

I have seen alligators there before, but I have never seen them in numbers such as what we saw today. The guys counted at least forty-eight huge ones all out of the water on the banks at the same time. Definitely photo worthy. The real close up photos you see really were taken from a very close distance from the huge dinosaurs, but I took them from the van, there was no way I was getting out with those guys out there! I am pretty sure the gators know that they are living on a wildlife refuge, because they are about as lazy and unconcerned as could be.

I think that animals probably enjoy the same kind of weather that I like, because today was the most gorgeous day here and I saw lots of wildlife at work, out enjoying it. There was this cute little raccoon that I spotted running across the road with his mom and siblings and took this little video of.

Then there was this crazy huge turtle by the retention pond behind our building that was completely unafraid of people. I have never known a water turtle to be so brave. Generally, as soon as they see you they hop right into the water not to emerge again until you've left. Secretive little devils. But not this guy. I walked right up to him and he just looked at me. He kept paddling his giant back feet in the air, probably trying to warm them in the sun.

I love being able to work around so much wildlife- you never know what you'll see!

I am finding myself a bit behind in the things